City of Angels. || Ashton Irwin

Ending

It has been a year since my mums funeral. If I'm being honest. I've never felt more better, and I know it's a terrible thing to say. But now my mums at peace and no longer in pain, and I feel the exact same way. I don't have to worry about her over dosing or her having panic attacks anymore. I can mourn her, and celebrate the amazing memories we shared, I know mum is proud of me. But I'm immensely proud of how long she battled with her condition for.

Before she died I had up to two hours to talk to my mum. To the mum who remembered me. She told me that her condition is weird. That her brain isn't able to function right, but inside her body she was fighting to say the words. It wasn't if my mum woke up and couldn't believe how big I've grown and asking where her kids were. She knew everything. She knew about Lucy. As I used to talk to her about it before I went to sleep. Everyday I would tell her about my day, and for years I felt like I was talking to a blank wall. But I wasn't. My mum was there listening. It ate her away that she couldn't tell me she loved me. I know she does. I feel so blessed to be awarded those moment with her. We laughed and talked for ages. I felt so comfortable with her. She felt comfortable with me. It was breathtaking and so cherish-able. We both desperately needed that. And we got it, Didn't we?

She knew I was scared, she grabbed hold of my hand. "It'll be ok baby, I promise." I'm always gonna be here, and I know you won't be able to see me, but I'm gonna be here, supporting you and pushing you every step of the day in life." She kissed my hand. Hitting a nerve I bite my lips to stop myself from crying.

We took loads of pictures, happy pictures, funny pictures, nice ordinary pictures. We needed them, I needed them, I needed to remind myself she was real, she was mum and she was the mum I dreamed who would take care of me every night.

Mum began to tear up. "Baby, I am so proud of you, and I want to be here physically and celebrate everything that happens in your life. I'm so sorry I won't be able to share it with you." She took a deep breath. "Son, you've got to promise me something?" She looked up at me with watery eyes. "Anything" I croaked. she took another deep breath. "You've got to go out there and find your brother and sister and you will never give up! You need to, they're family and they're all you got after me. Sweetie they are out there, and I'm sure they're looking for you too." I blinked, "amm..." She interrupted me. "Ashton, sweetheart, do it for yourself! You deserve to see your own flesh and blood, they need you, and you need them. Promise me baby?"

"I promise mum." I kissed her hand and nodded continuously.

_________

I introduced her to Lucy, who fought incredibly hard to remain strong, and she did. Mum loved her! She loved mum. They instantly connected. Lucy was mesmerised by my mother. They chatted and joked and laughed for ages. We all enjoyed it.

"We live in a city of angels Ashton, we are all just waiting for our turn. And God chose that tonight it's my turn." She looked at me with watery eyes. "I love you baby, and promise me you'll never forget me."

"Mum how could you say that, I will never ever forget you." I kissed her cheek. "I love you so much." Crying inside. "Darling I love you." She whispered.

Then..

"Who, who are you? Where's my man?! I need him now! Get your hands off me! Get the fuck away from me ye creeps!"

My heart instantly sank. Now it was time to say goodbye to my mother. For one last time. Never to feel her warm touch again, never to endure her path of life again. All that was left now was memories. I dropped on my knees to the floor and roared. Screaming, crying, panicking. I just couldn't bottle it up anymore. It wasn't doing me any good. Now I just yelled, and screamed. I look at my mum and I barely recognise the women who lay before us ten minutes ago. Lucy squeezed my hand and covered her mouth with the other, crying silently to herself.

That wasn't even the hardest part.

Then reality struck. 'Beeeeeeepppppppp'

A whole crew of doctors and nurses rushed into the room. I stood up quickly, Lucy and I backing all the way up against the other wall.

"Don't!" I scream. The doctor was performing cpr. "Excuse me, Sir you need to leave." A nurse ordered me.

"Let her die." I whisper. They couldn't hear me.

"Let her go!" I roared. Scaring them. There's no point reviving her, when it's just gonna be the same thing again. She's sick and God chose this to be the end of her road, so let him take her away. It's her time.

Times up.

Lucy then had a breakdown. I pulled her into my arms and we both just cried. I rubbed her back and stroked her hair, kissing her head. She squeezed me tight and kept whispering, "it'll be ok baby, I promise." Just like mum said. Those words mending my heart yet breaking it at the same time.

The doctors stood back from the bed.

One of the nurses spoke. "Time of death: 11:47p.m on the 17th June, 2014."

Lucy's Pov:

Date: 5th October, 2015.

"Ashton come on!" Lauren roared. Kicking the door, we have to go to school! Hurry up! She smashed on the door again.

Ashton and I were laying in his bed.

"I'm coming! Wait two minutes Jesus Christ it's only 8:20." He squinted his eyes.

"Yeah and school starts at 8:45 dumbass." She sniggered.

"Eh shut the fuck up with that language." He chuckled.

"Ashton!" I gasped. Swatting his arm.

"I'll be back princess." He smiled kissing my forehead.

He was backing up against the door, slowly. "Don't move ok? I'll be back soon love."

"Bye bye" I yawned. Moaning into my pillow. I was so fucking tired.

I went over to Ashton's laptop and logged onto it, going into my e-mail. Realising I should e-mail Niall. As he moved back to Ireland to be with Kylie. I begin to write my e-mail.

Dia duit, Niall a chara,

A lot has happened in the past year. Ashton found Harry and lauren! Isn't that amazing? Yeah Harry and lauren were both living with a fostering family. Lauren and Harry were also looking for Ashton, so when they met each other for the first time, it was remarkable, they are all so alike. They're eyes lit up the minute they saw this big tall dude before them. He was mesmerised with how perfect they were. They're beautiful great kids. What we're doing now is living together! Yes I know! Harry and Lauren come to stay some weeks, we take turns with the fostering family. But I can't believe we were so lucky! The father in the fostering families was offered a promotion and luckily enough it was in Boston! So everything fit right into place. Ashton's mum must have blessed us or looked out for us (R.I.P) Mum and Richard have been so kind to me and Ashton. They've offered help anytime with Harry and Lauren and the kids love them! Ash and I have been living together for about 6 months now. I'm loving every second of it. I love waking up to him in the mornings, I love spending every afternoon with him, unless he's at work of course! Oh yeah! He's got a job now! He's working as a councillor for young children who are going through difficult times. Isn't that great? It really boots his self esteem as he's surrounded by people who are going through difficult situations he went through. He's really helping a lot of people. He's changed so much. Well I don't know if it's changed. But I think he's matured and grown up. God I love him. Niall I love him so much. I can't imagine waking up tomorrow and him not laying beside me, I just can't. I'll be lost without him. I can't wait to bring Ash home to you! And Kylie! How are ye? When's the wedding? It must be soon now? Tell me everything yeah? I miss you so much. I can't wait to get back to Ireland and meet Kylie, I'm sure she's amazing. I better go now, Ashton's coming back from dropping Lauren and Harry to school, hope to see you soon, write back.

That's my story,

Love always,
Lucy.