𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑅𝑒𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑙𝑦.

#52

-D.F

Dalia's hand squeezes mine as I watch the black casket in which my mother's body laid in lower six feet underground. Slowly I feel my stomach sink the further it goes and the more distance that separates us. Never had I felt more alone in my life.

I had never been close with my mother, each word she had said to me was always to pick at something I had done, or to do something that only benefited her. She was selfish in every form except when it came to my father. The man who couldn't give a less fuck about anyone.

Spear stands beside me oblivious to the idea of death. He wasn't crying, nor was he sad, all he knew was that my mother was never coming back, and seeing on how his one interaction with her wasn't exactly ideal, he couldn't care less.

There was no connection between my parents and Spear, he wasn't even aware that he had an actual mother or father. With my mother it seemed as if it was a pick-and-choose type of thing, he had no actual idea of what family was other than me being his sister. And right now, it seemed like a good thing.

Though this funeral consisted of five people -including the workers that were paid to attend- it was still the best it was going to get for her. In her short life, she had only made enemies everywhere she stayed, which was practically the entire state.

I bend over grabbing a handful of dirt and throwing it onto her levelled casket. Dalia, and the rest of the attendees followed after me with kind words that seemed so foreign to her name.

Slowly, everyone started to walk away. I can feel Dalia start to drag me away but for some reason, my feet can't move. I watched the casket in silence, I didn't want to leave just yet, I wasn't ready.

When I hear Dalia sigh I unlink our hands and take a deep breath in. "Come on Spear." She mumbles now dragging Spear off from the burying.

I had spent the following weeks crying out every single drop of water that I had in my system, I felt drained of tears because of how many stained my cheek. My eyes had permanently become red and puffy adding to the dark bags that tainted the skin right below them. I looked like the epitome of a train wreck.

Watching as they covered the casket in dirt I couldn't do anything but remain still. I couldn't cry no matter how much I wanted to. I couldn't scream and beg for another few seconds with her, a few seconds with someone who couldn't care less about having that time with me.

Time passes, so much time that I now stand alone in a graveyard staring at the ground in complete silence. For some unknown reason my mind racked over every feature my mother had, whether it was her looks or personality it flooded my brain. I attempted to remember her voice while closing my eyes, but everything came off fuzzy.

I suck in a breath when - a thick jacket engulfs my back and shoulders. I look to my side confused before seeing Dalia with a soft smile.

"It's getting cold." Her hands run down my arms adding a bit of friction to create heat. I nod my head and look once more at the ground.

"Where's Spear" my voice cracks.

"Asleep in the car. Let's get you home." She applies pressure to my body while trying to drag me off for the second time. Finally, I allow her to pull me away through the graveyard in silence. All I can hear is the wind brushing past my ears and the sniffling of my nose.

Dalia opens my door before I get the chance to with a smile. Quietly thanking her I enter with a sigh and immediately look back at Spear. When Dalia's phone rings she closes the door and walks a few feet away from the car. I stare her down as she paces when the phone hits her ear.