Every time I close my eyes, the memory comes back. How hyper-aware I was of my surroundings, fingers tapping impatiently on the glass railing. Feeling the heat radiating off his body. The thoughts in my head during that moment. I wouldn't mind realizing them. The way I was craving for a little touch. Closing the gap. What could have gone worse in the darkness of the night, just like that?
My dreams are haunted by the image of him yet again. Waking up in the middle of the night. And all the tarot readings popping on my explore page sound scarily accurate. Acting on desires, would he do it? Yet the shift is so isolating; hot and cold, I have got no time for that.
I don't want to lose you too, baby. But the clock is ticking like the beat of my heart, about to run out. Open to stable energies only, it is not me to step back to my masculine again. I love a man who takes the initiative. I'm one step away from closing the door and throwing the key into the very bottom of the sea. I will find solace even if that is what meant to happen. For what is meant for me will never miss me.
