How do you know when to trust someone? Do we put blind faith in human beings, who have free will? Knives behind our backs, then watch the blood trickle down from the wound as we smile.
If the snake bites back the hand that fed it, should we let the snake starve instead? When the poison seeps through every cell, who is to be found guilty? Should one feed poison to the snake, just to be on the safe side? Yet I do not like the idea if harming ones I regard.
Lord forbid the ones who live the fate of Maleficent; I'd rather break my bones, heal them one by one, and break them again instead. When a move is made, one should close the chess board and leave it, for it is pointless to play the games you did not start.
The knot closes around my throat, promising to suffocate and put an end to it. Maybe it is for the best; the hell on earth is much more chaotic than that in afterlife.
I put my head on my shoulder, the only arms that hold me regardless. I just want to trust and be at peace for once, yet in the end it pushes me further away. To think when you are so close to finding what you wished for, turns out to be a mere delusion again. Feeding into lies, the remainder is the adrenaline and bitterness. Lady Luck never seems to smile at my face. Lord, will it ever be my turn?
Loath, melancholy, arousal, exasperation, desire, perfidy.
I hate it and want it at the same time. I thought all has passed, and indeed it has. Yet where does this longing come from? Maybe it is out of habit and will cease in a month. I hope so. Why am I in search of that peace of proximity. The sweetness is so intoxicating, almost sickening. And the cure is the contact.
Ironic, when I want kisses all over me, all I get is a Judas kiss. Why am I feeling the way I am feeling? Loath - check, melancholy - check, but where this desire is coming from? It is way too specific, I know it is not just my hormones. I stop myself before these thoughts get deeper, more lewd and craving.
Pushes itself back into my mind when it is nearly erased. Maybe I should simply write down every gesture I dream of and it will terminate the torture. If I am to suffocate, let it be by those hands around my neck to end me then. The blood is never thicker but the scarlet stays as the reminder.
