Nothing We Could Do

Chapter 33

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———— K I O S H I ————

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I blinked my foggy eyes open; head pounding, body aching and feeling emotionally wrecked. The usual.

A blurry figure seemed to be hovering over me but the light was too harsh so I had to squeeze my eyes shut. I groaned in pain as all my muscles screamed bloody murder at me. I was used to hangovers but oh christ, it felt like my whole body was ablaze yet glacier cold at the same time.

Gently, I felt something like a wet, cold towel press against my forehead. A shudder of relief wracked through my body and I almost moaned at how good it felt. I tried to pry open my eyes slowly to get a sense of what was going on. My eyes squinted against the light, waiting to adjust to what seemed like daylight.

Ivanna stood over me, a concerned look on her face.

I paused and everything went still. Was it real? Was I dreaming? Did I die and wake up in some cruel hell that was using her to torment me?

I tried to sit up and failed miserably, collapsing down hard and almost screaming at how bad it hurt.

"What an idiot," I swear I heard her mutter, "You need to stay down."

Sure, I'd had dreams every night and even during the day about her, but this one felt almost too real. The way the warm sunlight illuminated her face, giving her an almost angelic glow, the way her hair hung loose and strands fell across her face... It had to be one heck of a dream.

Obviously, I could hardly make out the events of the night before that had led me to the situation due to how heavy I had drank. I opened my mouth to speak but a wave of nausea hit me and I could do nothing by groan. My body fired up and I swear I blacked out because when I re-opened my eyes, Ivanna was gently holding my face at an angle and trying to pry a pill into my mouth.

My head rested in her lap as she bent over me and I couldn't help but stare up at her. It was real, she was real. I could feel her warm fingers on my face and smell her strawberry scent I'd missed so much.

I quickly swallowed the pill and she looked surprised, as if she hadn't noticed me wake up.

"You've been out for two days."

She stated it so casually I was convinced I miss-heard, "What?"

She nodded and frowned, "I had to skip class to make sure you didn't die."

"Are you real?" I muttered, eyes roaming over her face and still not quite believing, "Is this another dream?"

She smiled softly, "Your not dreaming Kioshi. Don't you remember what happened? Before you passed out?"

My mind came up completely blank. I slowly pushed myself up until I was upright. I flexed my arm, the sore muscles stretching out painfully. Trying to recall anything was useless, it would surely come back to me eventually.

"What happened?"

She looked away and her smile faded into a sad frown, "You... you told me everything that happened that night. About Amy..."

I paused, "I did?"

She nodded quietly, refusing to meet my eye as if she were ashamed.

A large lump formed in my throat and a pit formed in my stomach. She knew everything, she knew and yet why was she with me? Why had she stayed and taken care of me?

"Ivanna I'm so sorry..." I began, searching for the right words to say.

"No," She shook her head hard and I noticed tears forming in her eyes, "I should be the one apologising. It's my fault for thinking you would ever do that to me."