Shameless - lestappen

24- Him & I

Cross my heart, hope to die
To my lover, I'd never lie
He said, be true, I swear I'll try
In the end, it's him and I

- G-Eazy, Hasley

24

Charles Leclerc

There's nothing I can't really do right now.

I talked to Max, I gave him my opinion on the situation, it's up to him whether or not to talk and tell the true.

I would understand every choice he made. Honestly I wouldn't blame him if he gave up, he's been through so many hard things, he doesn't want to go on living hell and everyone could understand it.

I wouldn't blame him but it would break my heart not to share the Formula One track with him anymore.

I can't imagine Max without F1.

And above all, I can't imagine myself in F1 without Max.

It's always been him and I, him against me, him with me, him beside me, it's not just me, there is no just Charles or just Max. It's Charles and Max.

He's been there from the beginning and I hope he'll be there until the end.

I left his hospital room after trying to reassure him as best I could. Tomorrow morning he'll go back to the precinct and make the decision that will probably change his life. In the best way, I hope.

I'm driving a little too fast on the city roads. The day has been exhausting emotionally and physically.

I extend the journey, listening to my music, Adèle, to think a bit before reaching Pierre's hotel.Tonight I need my best friend more than ever.

When he opens me, I understand from his expression that he immediately sees the tiredness and anxiety on my face.

He stays silent and puts his hand on my shoulder before he pulls me against him. I crack in his embrace and feel the tears rushing down my cheeks.

I hasten to put my hands over my face to make them disappear.

Pierre closes the door while I let myself fall on his bed.

"What happened? He asks me with his arms crossed over his chest.

- I'm in trouble Pierre... you have no idea...

- Why would you say that?

I hide my face in my hands.

- Because I fell in love with him. "

***

The flight back to Monaco is really long. When I get to my apartment I feel completely empty, exhausted.

I haven't heard from Max yet, but everyone's talking about him. Everyone thinks he's the one who screwed up. They compare him to his father like I did at the beginning of the season. If they had any idea what was really going on, they wouldn't react like that.

I drop myself on my couch and grab my phone. No new messages from Max.

I think back to my conversation with Pierre, when I told him that I love the Dutchman  more than I should.

If he was surprised at my confession, he didn't show it at any moment. He listened to me while I was telling him how I started falling for the redbull driver.

I obviously didn't tell him about Max's secrets or the kisses we shared. I just told him how I felt.I was afraid that he would judge me, that he wouldn't take me seriously, but he just shook his head and asked me if I thought it could work between Max and I, if I knew if it was reciprocal.