Make it stop - Minsung

Chapter 11

"It was a long day, wasn't it?" Chan joked as he sat on Minho's bed, chuckling playfully.

"It's already been a week since we came back but I'm so damned tired" Minho complained, rolling his eyes "Mostly today..."

"How are you doing, huh?" Chan asked, smiling softly at his friend

"Body is in a wreck, Head is going to implode, Mind still damned and fucked up ... You know, the routine" Minho responded, tone sarcastic

"I can imagine" Chan smiled sadly "And... more deeper? How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm the biggest mess this word is bearing with..." He said, voice airy as he stared at nothing "Like I've destroyed in months all the good things I've done in my damned life"

"Hey" Chan said, poking at his arm "It's never too late" 

 "I might be damned, Chan" He said, shrugging.

Just like every evening, Chan went to Minho's dorm for some time.

Everyday, he would accompany to his room and have a little talk with him. The first thing on his mind was making sure the latter was hanging on and wasn't ruining himself in his vice. Then, he would ask how he is, have a little talk, before testing him.

Minho had been calmer now.

He stopped being so resistant and had conceded getting some help. He accepted being scolded when he was seen taking drugs, or when it was proved he had done it. He started lowering down his lies, as hard as it was, and accepted the deep shit he was in.

But with acceptance, came the struggle of realizing the situation he was in, and welcoming all the dark thoughts surrounded by it.

In all honesty, he was terrified. And Chan had seen it.

"You're still pretty much ignoring Jisung... aren't you?" Chan tentatively asked, and he saw how Minho tensed.

Minho didn't respond, he still did not dare to say a word when the latter was involved in any kind of situation.

"I really need you to understand that nothing should have been his responsability, Min" He continued, and watched how Minho's face contorted in pure pain.

But he cleared his expression rather quickly, and stayed silent regarding this.

"Can I ask you a question?" Chan asked

"Depends" Minho shrugged

"What happened for you to start this?" He asked, wondering what kind of reaction he would have.

He sighed.

"You still didn't dare to tell us, and I've been really curious"

"It started when I was MCeeing" He said, sighing more loudly "We were having a come back, and I was taking vitamins along with a redbull, only to survive" 

"I get it" Chan chuckled

"This idol came in my room, and we had a deep ass conversation about what the idol's life is about... Like you know, we're going overboard with our mental stability and physical condition, having to bear with the fact that our entire persona is owned by others but we aren't legit to complain about it because it offers us the possibility of realizing our dream, along with the fame and the money and all that shit" He continued, chuckling dryly.

"Yeah... we've always been really talkative about this feeling, and it's okay. We have our sufferings, and we have our passion too. But what happened, did you lost your passion?" Chan asked

"No... I don't think so... I think it's harder than that..." He said, seemingly deep in thoughts

"Explain"