are u with me

38

Saturday, May 11th (7 weeks)
The BAU

Emily's POV

I was discharged over a week ago and I've been back at work for 3 days. I practically begged my doctor to clear me for work because I could not stand being in my house alone for another day.

I make my mom sleepover most nights. I thought that as time went on I would miss JJ less, but after i got shot, somehow... if it's possible I think I miss her more.

I used to cry every night because I miss her, now I'm numb to it. I don't sleep at night... I get at most a few minutes of sleep at a time before I jolt awake and my mom has to help me back to sleep.

My mom wants to get me on anti depressants. Honestly I won't even argue with that. I'm starting to think I need it too. I don't even know if my girlfriend is alive, I don't know how to live with that.

It seems like my life now is one big fat 'I don't know'

If I had a book it would be titled, 'I don't know, by Emily Prentiss (9th edition) (the sequel).'

Some girl tried flirting with me yesterday and I told her I have a girlfriend. Derek thinks I need to start seeing other people. I told derek I think he needs to stay out of my business.

I opened my letter that I wrote JJ a few weeks ago,

I love you Jennifer Jareau. You're a hero. You're

my hero and I love you to pieces. Thank you for

being someone so worth while. For being someone

that gave me a reason for it all. Knowing you're

out there being someone's hero brings a smile to my

face. I love you precious girl. I'll see you later 🩶

I still agree with every word I wrote. Except for the part 'knowing you're out there.' Because I don't know if she's out there anymore. I'm starting to loose hope, I regret ever letting her go.

"Emily what are you wearing to dinner tonight." Pen asks. "I don't know if I'm gonna go." I say. "No don't do that... you're going. Point blank period." She says.

"Emily it's Hotch's birthday. You have to go!" Reid says. "Emily you better not be bailing on my birthday." Hotch walks out of his office and I sigh. "I would never." I laugh.

"Atta girl." He says.

"Seriously what are you wearing." She asks. "Pants and a shirt. I don't feel like doing anything fancy." "Okay, which means regular Penelope okay great thanks."

I laugh at her as she walks away. If it's one person getting me through this terrible gut wrenching sucker punching time. It's Penelope.

My phone rings and I pick it up, it's my mom. "Hi mom." I say. "Hi Emmy. Do you want to pet sit with me tonight? Keep me company". She asks. "I would love to but I have to go to Hotch's stupid birthday dinner." "Oh that sounds like fun!" She says. "Yeah no." I say. "Emily stop being such a grinch. Go have fun." "Yeah whatever. Bye mom I love you." "Bye sweetie, love you."

-

3 hours later

The team arrived at a very upscale restaurant and I felt like maybe I should've dressed up a bit more but whatever, I don't really care.

"Nice doing Rossi." Derek says. "Thanks, my friend owns the place." He says.

We all take our seats at a table and we get passed menus. "So emily hows the business world treating you?" Reid asks. "Good actually. I got a lot of money in Amazon and I'm thinking about taking a loan from my dad and buying out beats. He wants me to open a company but maybe later on in life." I say. "What's stopping you, open it now." Rossi says.

"Honestly, I don't really have time to. I'm already to busy with my mom's campaign." I say. "You seem to have gotten really close with your parents." Pen says. "Yeah. It's kinda weird with my dad. But I really enjoy spending time when my mom now. She's changed a lot." I say. "That's so good." She says.

The food comes out and with that my social battery dies. I honestly think I should get on anti depressants sooner than later. I can't even enjoy things like dinner with my friends anymore.

"I found out Hotch has a girlfriend." Morgan says and I pretend to be shocked. I already knew. His face turns bright red if her name gets brought up and never have I ever seen Aaron Hotchner blush.

"Reid's turn next." I joke, everyone laughs.
"Guys seriously it's not funny anymore!" Reid laughs.

"Emily you too. I think it's time you start dipping your toes in the dating pool again." Rossi says. Here they go with this shit, they're seriously pissing me off.

"I don't think that's necessary." Someone says before I could even clap back to them, "why would she do that when she has me." I look up.

JJ.