are u with me

47

THE PLANE
JJs POV

I woke up about 2 hours into our 5 hour flight. Emily and I argued for the first time and honestly she was right, I could've just listened to her. But being raised in a house where all my parents did was argue with each other, and then they argued with my sister, but they never argued with me... they didn't really care enough about me after Ros died to get mad at me for anything. I was just always on edge waiting for one of them to yell at me over something. It's what I was exposed to.

Everytime someone yells at me or gets mad at me I immediately think back to when I was a kid and doors getting slammed in my house, my parents and my sister screaming at each other and I never understood why. I started tuning the yelling out after a while, closing my room door and laying in my bed and thinking about anything happy, dogs, furry animals, a bunny.

I look at emily who's fast asleep and I drape my legs over hers, resting my face in the crook of her neck. "I'm sorry." She mumbles. "You're up?" I whisper. "Mhm." "Don't be sorry. You were right. I tune people out in arguments... I'm working on it I'm sorry." "I should've just dropped it, it wasn't even that serious to be arguing about." She says.

"That's not the point Em. I should've listened. No matter what you're talking about argument or not I should always listen. I'm sorry and I promise I'll work on it." "I'm sorry too." She says. "I love you beautiful." I say. "I love you more pretty girl." She places a kiss on my forehead.

"Next time, I don't care what the situation is, if we ever argue I will not let either of us go to sleep mad. It's not good for us." Emily says. "Yeah. I agree."

"Can we get a bunny?" I ask. "A bunny? I thought you wanted a cat?" She says. "Both." I smile. "You're lucky you're cute." She laughs.

"When do you think my weight gain is going to go down." I ask... I gained a little bit of weight when I get pregnant, I thought it would go away sooner but I guess not. "I don't know, you look beautiful regardless." "I feel fat." "Hey. Don't talk about yourself like that. You're the prettiest girl in the world." "Have you gone to the Doctors yet since you got back?" She asks. "No i keep forgetting." "Okay, we will go when we land."

-

The plane lands and emily stands up, I grab her hand as I grab her stuff and my stuff. "Jayje don't forget-" "I know I know." I say grabbing her glasses. "Love you princess." She says and smiles, placing a kiss on my cheek.

We say bye to the team, which they were all confused because they thought we were arguing.

We jump in the car and drive up to my doctor for my physical.

-

"Jareau?" The doctor says and we walk into the room. "Hi nice to see you again." I say. "Nice seeing you." "We are going to take your height and weight." She says and I step on the scale.

She does my blood pressure and everything and then sits down to ask questions. "Are you aware you've gained weight since your last physical? Any change in diet?" "Um... I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago." I say. "I am so sorry to hear that Jennifer. Do we have a support system in place?" "Emily, my fiancé." I point to Emily.

"Ah okay. And did we know the father?" She asks. "No father... it was emily." I say. "I'm intersexual." Emily says. "Oh okay that makes sense." "Do you know the date you miscarried?" The doctor says.

"April 20th." I say. I never even told Emily the exact date. "Hm... okay. I'm gonna take some blood work alright?" She says and I nod.

Minutes go by as she takes my blood... she walks back in with an ultrasound. "Why do I need that?" I ask. "Jennifer there's some inconsistency's with your bloodwork and your timeline of when you miscarried... I just want to make sure everything's okay." "But they had the ultrasound out on the field when it first happened... no heartbeat... do I really need to do this all over again?" "I would just like to make sure everything is okay, is that alright?" "I guess so."

She sets up the machine and she gets the gel and places it on my stomach. I look at Emily with sadness in my eyes as I couldn't bear to look at the machine when she tells me that my baby is indeed dead.

She places the device on me and as I suspected, no heartbeat. A tear falls down from my eyes. I don't know why I'm sad I knew I miscarried.

Emily walks over to me and holds my hand. Her and my doctor furrow their eyebrows at the same exact time as they notice something. I didn't want to look as I couldn't bare it.

The doctor moves the device more south and suddenly I hear a heartbeat. "Is that- is that a heartbeat?" I shoot my head up. "Oh my gosh." Emily says. "It's two heartbeats actually. You're having twins Jennifer." "But? I? What???" "Unfortunately there was another amniotic sac, meaning there was a 3rd baby that rested closer to your chest. That unfortunately miscarried." She says.

"Oh... I was gonna have triplets? How could they miss this" I say. "They don't have advanced technology out there." The doctor says.

"And now I'm having twins...." I say shocked. "Is this something you are happy about? Or do you have any other plans in mind about this pregnancy?" "What? No ? I want to keep them! But what about the 3rd baby." More tears fall out of my eyes.

"Jennifer I am so deeply sorry. There are support groups you can go to, you do indeed have 2 healthy babies in you that need a momma." She says