I'm drunk and credits to m0therfuck3r_
Jiro: I'm going to take you out
Momo: great, it's a date!
Jiro: I meant that as a threat
Momo: See you at five!
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Momo: Is something burning?
Jiro: Just my love for you.
Momo:
Jiro, the toaster is on fire.
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Jiro: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Momo: Okay.
Jiro: And make out during the scary parts.
Momo: Th-
Momo: The scary parts.
Momo: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
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Jiro: Am I in trouble?
Momo: Take a guess.
Jiro: No?
Momo: Take another guess.
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Jiro, struggling to keep upright in her 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don't really think heels are for me
Momo, pointing at her and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK!
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Momo: As top in this relationship, I think we should-
Jiro: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me
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Jiro: Go fuck yourself.
Momo, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch
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Momo: I fell—
Jiro: From heaven?
Momo: No, I literally fell—
Jiro: In love with me the moment you saw me?
Momo: MY ARM IS BROKEN!
Jiro: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.
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Jiro: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Momo: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Jiro: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Momo: Is it working?
Jiro:
Jiro: yes
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Momo: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Jiro: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Momo: Stop.
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Jiro: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Momo: I wrote you a poem.
Jiro, already crying: You did?
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Momo: I owe you one.
Jiro: That's ok. You can just date me and we'll call it even
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Momo: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Jiro is? Because Jiro is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.
Mina: we were-
Mina: we were talking about popcorn
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Jiro: Do you want to know your gay name?
Momo: My... my gay name?
Jiro: Yeah, it's your first name-
Momo: Haha. Very funny
Jiro-
Jiro: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.
Momo: Oh- oh my god.
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Jiro: I like your new pants!
Momo: Thanks, they were 50% off!
Jiro: I'd like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
Momo: The store can't just give away clothes for free.
Jiro: Thats's... not what I meant.
Momo: That's a terrible way to run a business, Jiro
YOU ARE READING
MHA one shots
Fanfiction⚠️ self harm,drug and alcohol use,language and smut⚠️ One shots of MHA characters (mostly MomoJiro) I don't not own MHA or the characters or the pictures most of these stories belong to @m0therfuck3r_ all the credit for their stories goes to them...
