Bottom Of The Bridge ( Compilation of Proses )

xxvi.

I dreamt of being the change
The tremendous desire that strive for other's happiness has been inside me
I want to help someday, just like what my mother always do

But I was just a kid who did grew up in this cruel world
A sudden selfishness was shoved inside me
The fire was gone, only the ashes lived.
Now, the only thing I can do is to feel sorry

"Can you give me some, I haven't eaten yet,"
The words that always echoes inside my ear whenever I walked the street.
Yet I always passed by them to save myself
Am I dirty for wanting a change but not giving any

When I was young, I used to hate anyone who just passed by someone who needed their help
I hated them for saying "sorry, we don't have a coin,"
I swear to not be like them
But this world made me end up like them.

I guess, the only thing happened is that I grew up.
I realize the importance of saving some for yourself in order to survive
I am now at the foot of others who can't even give a penny
I am now at the time where I only need to be selfish in order to go up.

As I passed by them, I close my eyes for a second
Each time, I wanted to cry
But at this moment, there is a difference
I am striving to go up and pass by them for now
And when I'm at the peak of my mountain, I would go down and give them the fruit that they always wanted.
I cannot do it while climbing
So I will do it after I see the view at the top

That is the only way for them to see the light
It may take time, but from this day, I swear
I will be the vessel of change
A change wherr awareness is high and people below can get a chance to go up
The mountain is huge, there are many spaces for everyone
And someday, I will create a stairs for them to finally climb up

No one in this world deserves the cruelty that others bestowed upon them.