But Not Me (GxG)

BNM-19

Noelle Canarette

🎶
Slow down, don't hate me
I won't lie you won't make me
I never tried to be your lover
I just tried to stay
You left me anyways

I leaned my head against the window, watching the passing scenery, listening to music na hindi nakikisama sa sitwasyon ko ngayon. Kanina ko pa gustong gumalaw dito sa shotgun seat, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had this nagging feeling that if I made a move, it would only draw her attention, intensifying the already uncomfortable atmosphere.

🎶
Not far at all but you can't go there
A breathless sigh away from by my side
Unfinished lies beneath the cold air
Too many broken bones to stand upright

"You know you can move, right?" Her voice broke through the silence, catching me off guard.

"Oh, I didn't realize that. Thanks for enlightening me," I replied in a sarcastic tone, pero hindi pa rin ako gumalaw sa puwesto.

She really couldn't read between the lines, could she? She was well aware of the awkwardness that enveloped us, yet she seemed to add to it. Bakit nga ba ako pumayag? Alam ko naman na ganito ang mangyayari kapag magkasama kami sa iisang lugar, lalo na kung kami lang dalawa.

"Why are you behaving like that? I know you so well, Noe."

"If you know me so well, alam mo na ayaw kong kinakausap ako, 'di ba?"

"Except when it comes to me," she stated matter-of-factly, her tone exuding confidence.

"People change," sabi ko habang kinukumpas ang kaliwang kamay, habang patuloy pa rin akong nakatingin sa daan.

"But feelings can remain."

🎶
And I know, I know, you never meant to be the criminal
And it's so, sooo, so hard to bear
But even though, oh, you went and left me all alone I found my way
Found my way home

Sukat sa sinabi niya, mabilis akong napalingon sa direksyon niya. She sat there, calm and focused, her attention solely on the road. Just as she always was, her demeanor remained unchanged – composed and serious.

"But not in my case, not OUR case," I responded, my voice taking on a serious tone, each word emphasized to ensure she understood my message clearly.

"Really?" Mabilis siyang lumingon sa akin bago ibalik ang tingin sa daan. "From what I observe, I still have an effect on you, Noe. Your body language says it all."

Yes, she was partially right, but also wrong. She still held some sway over me, but not to the extent it once did, which surprised me. Dahil sa pagkakakilala ko sa sarili ko, I couldn't deny that I was deeply infatuated with her.

Huminto ang sasakyan dahil sa red light. She leaned against the door frame, turning to face me. "Cat got your tongue? You know I'm always right."

Pareho kaming nagtitigan, nagpapakiramdaman. The light turned green, but I chose to remain silent, focusing my attention on the road ahead at ganoon din ang ginawa niya.

Naabot na namin ang airport and I can proudly say that I made it here without doing anything foolish. I survived!

Nandito kami ngayon sa gilid, naghihintay sa paglabas ng mga parents namin. Hindi nagtagal at may dalawang tao ang lumabas, papunta sa amin. They had smiles on their faces as they waved.