The Racing Driver

Chapter 38

Mila's POV

I woke the next morning. I felt someone's arms holding me. My mind flashed back to last night. Daniel had found me at Josh's grave and brought me home, bathed me and stayed with me. I was so upset last night and felt like I was screaming but no noise was coming out.

I was still angry with Daniel. I managed to untangle myself from his arms but woke him in the process. As I looked at him his eyes opened and he looked at me. His hand went to take mine. I flinched and pulled myself away.

"Mila...," Daniel whispered.

"Just because I let you look after me last night does not mean we're ok. I didn't know what I was thinking last night... I wasn't thinking," I said.

"You're Mum called me. She wanted me to come and speak to you. She told me what's been going on," he said.

"I know she called you. I overheard her telling my Dad. That's why I was with Josh. She went behind my back and called you when I asked for some space,"

"They were only doing what they thought was right... they needed to try something Mila. You've not been eating or drinking and you've barely slept the last few days. They're petrified seeing you this way. They don't want to see you get more poorly,"

"You hurt me and then my parents went behind my back and got you here. How is any of that right?"

I got off the bed and went to get changed. I sat on my dressing table chair and put my shoes on.

"Where are you going?" Daniel asked.

"For a walk," I said.

"To be with Josh?" He asked.

"No... to be by myself,"

I grabbed my jacket and headed downstairs. I saw my Mum coming over to me.

"Sweetheart... where are you going?" She asked.

"Anywhere but here. I need some space," I said.

I headed out and went for a slow walk. I was still taking it easy as I was still having some stomach pains.

I found myself heading back after a while and I sat on the bench at the end of our garden in the field. I looked out. I had always sat here when I needed to think. It was my safe space. I heard someone approaching me.

I saw Daniel come and sit on the bench next to me.

"I know it's hard but we need to talk. We need to sort this out. It breaks my heart seeing you hurting knowing that I contributed to that and I can't help," Daniel said.

"What happened to the space I asked for?" I asked.

"I know but we need to talk about what happened," he said.

"You really hurt me. Do you know how scared I felt when I did those tests. Then for you to be so cold with me. While I've tried coping with this you have exactly what you wanted. I feel so alone. I never thought I'd get to a place again when I feel so alone. Part of me is scared feeling like this. I know how I was when Josh died and I'm falling down the same path. You never saw me. Everyone else did. I scared everyone," I said.

"Mila I am so sorry for what I said. The few days we were apart gave me time to think. I wanted this baby too. It took me time to get my head around it but I came to find you in the motorhome and Ana and Zak said you were in the hospital. I was too late,"

"I gave you a chance to come back that night. I text you and told you to come back and that I loved you. You never replied. It was like someone punched me in the stomach. I felt sick. I felt so alone. I was back to feeling how I was when Josh died. I never thought you'd treat me in a way that would make me feel like that,"