obsessed | fyolai.

eins.

NiKOLAi POV.

hiiiii! i'm nikolai gogol, a ukrainian 19-year old boy born on april 1st. funny coincidence is that in my friend circle i'm known as the funny one and i get called a clown. but it's okay cause i love making my friends day with a smile and some laughter. i'm a university student who's studying theatre as i want to become a comedian in the future.

i have white hair and light skin. i have a patch over one eye. and with my eyes, each are different colors. one is blue and the other is green.

my best friend in this college is sigma as he's been my best friend since early childhood up until this day. he's been always there for me whenever i had a bad day.

aside from all that, i'm also gay and i have a crush on another guy from this university. he's russian, also 19, has black hair and purple eyes, and is studying culture. his name is fyodor dostoevsky. to be honest, i'm obsessed with him and i can't stop thinking about him. and because of this, i never had the courage to talk to him. if i did, i would become an embarrassment and i might lose my reputation to him and he might never be with me.

sigma always encouraged me to talk to him so i can confess to him later but i never really did. i was thinking of talking to dazai, fyodor's best friend, about it, but i don't know about it although dazai is a very nice person and is fun to talk to. me and sigma once had a project with dazai and he's so good to work with.

me and fyodor have the same english, japanese, maths and geography classes but we sit together only in japanese and never really talked. in english he's on the other side of the room from me, in maths he sits right in front of me and in geography he sits at the desk beside me.

okay enough about me, now to a day in my life.

i woke up in the morning and ate some cereal. i unlocked my phone and saw i had a new message from sigma so i quickly tapped on it to respond to him.

------------------------------------------------------------
bestie sigma ‼️

nikolaiiii, you awake?

yeah, just finished eating my
cereal, what's up?

oh just wanted to make sure
that you're awake!

you know i'll always be awake
early cause i'll always be at school
unless i'm sick

is it because of fyodor?

as always, yes

of course you're going to school
only for fyodor, your obsession
for him is clearly shown

at least i don't have my lock
screen or home screen as him
or at least not yet. i don't have
any pictures of him and i don't
want to take pictures of him in
the hallways just like that cause
it's not nice to just take pictures
of someone without them knowing

at least you have some respect
towards his privacy

if i show some respect to him
maybe he will date me so i'm
trying my best for it

and i know you're doing great
for it. keep going and he might
ask you out on a date

i'm so gonna melt if he does

just show yourself as a good
person and he will. but even
after that continue doing so
cause you don't want him
breaking up with you