𝐹𝐴𝑁𝑇𝐴𝑆𝐼𝑍𝐸

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫

"Adonis. It's Time." Javon told me.

"here I come." I said. I looked back in the mirror with beaming lights coming from each side of the the glass.

Today was the day, I would go out and perform in front of thousand of people.

I signed to myself, nervous. I did have stage fright, I've performed before yes but, a tour is something different.

I looked at the time and saw I realistically had about 5 minutes before I had to start performing.

I looked at the CD player I had brought along with and walked over to it. In my bag was a CD containing a newer track I recorded—a track I recorded, produced, and wrote alone.

I wrote it in a place of desolation—where solace was foreign. I felt like everything was going downhill and the career I was once assiduous for was dissipating before my eyes.

But I simply couldn't let that happen, so I announced my highly anticipated world tour and broke several records over the past few months.

While rehabilitating, I realized that music is truly an escapism for me.

I picked up the CD and placed it in the modern CD player, I watched it spin and eventually, the melody of my voice started playing.

Something I find myself drawn too about this song is that I did it in one take—and completely loved it. I loved it because you can hear how hurt and despondent I was at such a dark time, I loved it because nobody knew about it but me—not even Javon knew, I loved it because it was ... me. It's who I am.

A boy who grew up in a place many wouldn't consider the greatest for a child. But that boy went on to become one of the biggest stars of the newer generation. In the song you can feel my broken adolescence. The adolescence that didn't contain two normal parents. One abusive father and a mother who would let anything happen out of fear.

Each lyric of the song gently picked at my heart, not in a way of sorrow, more so in a way of peace. Peace from being clouded and disenchanted.

The song stopped and I sighed—tapping my foot.

The next questions I had to answer was if I was going to release this or not.

Not so sure myself but hopefully I'll come to a decision sooner or later.

I stood back up and walked to my glam chair and sat. I was apprehensive about the show tonight, again, stage fright.

"Adonis, let's go!" Zaniyah said from behind. Silently and nervous I stood up and put my ear piece in. I walked out the dressing room. I was followed by two crewmen who helped with the mechanics of the stage and whatnot.

"Right this way sir," One instructed. I followed him to the lift that would lead up to the stage.

Right beside it were the closest people in my life, Javon and Zaniyah. Prepared for me to give a show I was unsure about giving.

"As soon as you step on, you'll give a signal and we'll send you up. You have a few seconds to speak to the crowd before the song starts. Got it?" One crewman said.

"yea." I said nervously.

"alright." He said walking away to his designated position.

I walked to the lift and looked at the two beside it—both eager for me to step on.

"zaniyah can you excuse us for a second." I addressed her. She nodded and walked off and I looked at Javon who wore a confused look.

"What's wrong baby?" He asked looking into my anxious eyes.

"what if I fuck this up." I said trembling.

"what if I go off key, or I trip, or I look a mess—"

"—Adonis, you're gonna be okay. Those people are here for you. They understand that you're human, if you make a mistake—get back up and walk it off." He encouraged.

I looked at him and slowly started to drain my anxiety.

I looked to the floor and started tapping my hand in thought.

"Adonis look at me." Javon said using his finger as a lift for my face. I looked him in the eyes and the light reflecting off the night sky bounced off his dark green eyes.

Instead of verbalizing it, he leaned in and kissed my apprehension away with reassurance.

"you got this baby." He said finally.

I exhaled looked to the lift this time.

i got this.

I stepped on the lift and repeated Javon's words in my head. I exhaled one more time before giving a thumbs up to the man with the control keys to send it up.

Suddenly, the lift started lifting and I watched at the crowd gradually came into my sight. The crowd roared just at the sight of me. I walked shyly to the microphone near the end of the stage and spoke into it.

"Hello everyone!" I said and they all cheered expectedly.

This all felt surreal. Me standing here is something my younger self only saw as a dream.

But me today, well it still felt like a dream. But a dream while I was awake—a reverie.

Like it was all in a 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌

to be continued ..