DISCONTINUED & UNFINISHED: scott pilgrim infection story

..whos we

Wallace falls asleep again and Scott sighs.

"Well, we're all at Ramona's—and we could have a sleepover, but like, we're also in a pandemic?" He says.

"What are you, 2? This isn't a sleepover, Scott." Ramona laughs. "We can't sleep. We need to survive."

"Ramona..you need sleep to live—and Wallace is already asleep." Stephen says.

"Just because he's the stupidest one here doesn't mean he gets a pass. Wake him up or something."

"Hey, he's not the stupidest one here!" Scott says.

"Then who is? You?" Ramona looks at him in a sarcastic manner.

"U-Uh..no.." Scott blushes.

"Let's wake up Wallace and put something to block the doors so we can sleep." Ramona says, rolling her eyes because she's convinced they don't actually need to sleep for like 2 days.

Scott gently taps Wallace to wake him up.

"Scott—that's not gonna wake him up. Shove him."
Ramona sighs.

"W-Well! I don't want to be mean!" Scott turns around.

"Then I will." Ramona laughs, pulling the chair from under Wallace.

"Are you kidding. Why is he not up?!.." Ramona says.

Scott screams. "He's dead again!"

He shoves Wallace against the wall and tries waking him up.

"Woah, guy. I thought you had a girlfriend." Wallace laughs.

"U-Uh.. No—I mean! Yes! I do. I'm trying to wake you up. Not that! Gross!" Scott's face turns red.

"Sure. But still, fuck you for waking me up." Wallace stands and gives Scott a middle finger.

"Okay..so..uh, I kind of left out the part of where to get something to block the door with." Ramona says, sighing.

"Me! I'll fight them away!" Wallace says.

"Uh, how?.." Ramona asks.

"By making out with all of them." Wallace laughs.

"Not all of them are boys, Wallace. And no." Ramona sighs.

"Fine—I'll make out with the boys who try to break in." Wallace says.

"Okay, shut the fuck up you drunk asshole. I don't even know how you got a drink in the first place. What are we actually gonna do?" Ramona rolls her eyes.

"Uh— you have that bag right? Grab something out of it." Scott says.

"What should I get?" Ramona says.

"Wood planks? I guess. I don't know.." Scott questions.

"Uh.. and what do we do with the wood planks, Scott?" Knives asks.

"Board the doors and windows, duh." Scott sighs.

"Uh—okay, sure. Be right back." Ramona says, walking towards the bedroom door.

"Wait!!" Scott jumps.

"What, dude?" Ramona turns around.

"Can I uh..come with you?" Scott asks.

"Um, sure? Why?" She asks, confused.

"I-Uh..You never know what'll happen." Scott says.

"Oh. Okay." Ramona says, walking with Scott to the bedroom to get her purse and get wood planks.

They come back out and walk into Wallace once again, asleep face first on the floor drooling, Stephen dozing off, and Knives clearly awake.

"Knives, will you wake Stephen up and help us board the doors? We're not prepared to sleep yet." Ramona asks.

"Sure!" Knives jumps up and taps Stephen's shoulder.

"H-What?! Oh no, did someone die?!" Stephen gasps.

"What?! No! We need to prevent us from dying! Get up and help us move the boards infront of the door." Knives laughs.

snore

"Wallace!" Scott yells.

Wallace is stubborn and still won't wake up. Nobody knows if he got a shot before coming here but he's clearly drunk and asleep.

"I got this." Ramona says, holding a wood plank to Wallace's head.

"3..2.."

"Ramona, no! Are you gonna bash his face into the fucking ground with wood?!" Scott asks.

"Yeah." Ramona shrugs.

"No! Wake him up nicely, he's not gonna help you if you fucking crush his head!" Scott says.

"You don't know that." Ramona sighs. "Fine. You wake him up."

"Okay." Scott walks up to him and gently tries to wake him up. "Wallaceeee!"

"That's not gonna work, idiot."

Scott picks him up from the ground and once again, sits him up at the wall.

Wallace is still dead asleep. Suddenly, they hear a bang at the door.

"Let me in pleasee!" Somebody asks. It sounds familiar. Too familiar. It's Envy Adams.

Scott peeps outside, and looks at Ramona in disgust.

"Why is Natal—I mean, Envy here?" Scott sighs.

"Want me to let her in? I mean, she's rude, but she might help us survive.." Ramona asks.

"No..I mean, maybe..check if she's infected." Scott says.

"Wait. Envy Adams?! Like, THE Envy Adams?! Oh my god." Knives jumps up and runs towards the door.

"No— Knives, we don't know if she's okay—"

"I don't care! If I get infected, atleast it's someone from The Clash at Demonhead!" Knives tries to convince her.

Ramona looks at the peephole and sees Envy. She seems to be..okay?

"Come on, we don't have all day!" Envy bangs on the door again. "We're gonna get killed if you don't let us in soon!"

..We?