Venomous Mistake

🐍18🐍

After the funeral, I just want to forget. I made an excuse, and that's why I'm at the penthouse alone after that shooting happened. I returned for Marco, but it felt wrong. I shouldn't have given in and boarded that flight. One month and fourteen days before January first-before everything crumbles.

I think of Neva and how I won't see her until that date-how I cannot wish her a happy birthday or get her a birthday present. My baby will turn four in thirteen days, and I'm trying to be cheerful. I only knew how in Marco's arms before revenge, but now that I got what I wanted for years-I can't even smile.

The obsessive thoughts are causing migraines. My bleeding heart makes me want to cry, and I can't do anything about it. It's wrong to want Marco's touch so I can forget, but even that makes me think of my deception to him.

It was raining heavily outside, and I hoped he didn't drink too much and drive safely. I don't even know if he is coming back tonight. It's already after ten.

Strangely, I didn't see Giulia at the funeral. Adrik looked murderous before the shooting. I tried to keep my eyes off him, but who couldn't keep theirs off me? Yelena. I have to remind myself that she doesn't know anything. I tell myself she just thought of our conversation at the estate.

It's too much. Yelena doesn't know me, nor do I know her. I feel like such a damn hypocrite for wanting more from a man knowing damn well he'd kill me if he knew what I did. He'd do it for his Mama and save his child, too, if he cared. I can't just tell Marco I've got a daughter. It's not his place to know. He wouldn't understand. Nor is it my place to stay.

I wiped my tears and removed the cover from my body. I've got to stop crying. That isn't who I am. There is a bottle of headache tablets in the kitchen, and I go to it. The awareness of the cameras should scare me because I know just what I'm in-I know that I've got a better firewall to build or worse-trash everything before moving to Mexico. I don't want to think about Mexico! It leaves that bitter taste of poison in my mouth.

I grab the pills and plop two on my tongue before swallowing them. I fill a glass of water before gulping it down.

I used to love the sound of rain on the roof-the cold air it gives, the darkness of it, but now it only reminds me of how I'll never make it out of this life. Even when I kill Javier, I'll be running. I'll be running without my Angelita. I'll have to give her up again.

Or maybe I just love the rain because it reminds me of the girl I'm hiding. It's a reminder not to lose myself completely. That and my mother's ring is the only reminder, but that ring is more of a memory of her, not Clara Aguilar.

The elevators chimed, and I lifted myself off the floor. I didn't turn back even as the apartment flooded with light. I hear Marco remove his shoes before I see him through the glass. He stops when he sees me, and it's a pull between our bodies when he strides toward me. I welcomed his hold around my waist and rested my head on his shoulder.