WANT so BAD | minsung

twenty one

After everything that's happened today, Jisung was finally laying on his bed. Despite the alcohol making him dizzy, it seems like his body won't cooperate with sleeping. He doesn't know if it's because Minho bothers his head so much or he can't really just stop overthinking things.

Now, he decided to go out of his room to clear his head. He wants to go to the backyard again for some air, but he was surprised to see Minho already sitting on one of the chairs—smoking.

"Hey hyung?" Minho was startled to hear Jisung's voice so he immediately dropped his cigarette onto the floor and stepped on it. "Why are you still awake? It's late. The sun's probably gonna rise any minute"

"I could ask you the same, Ji. Why are you still up? You're leaving in a few hours" Minho stated and offered the chair onto Jisung who is standing across him. "Have a seat"

"I can't sleep. I don't know if it's because something's bothering me or what" he replied and sighed.

"May I ask what's bothering you then?"
"I don't know hyung. I feel like I have to have a valid reason to tell you"
"You know I will never judge you. Whatever you'll tell me, I won't ask further"

Jisung then looked at his hyung who looks like waiting for him to say something so he just sighed deeply.

"Uhm I'm planning to move out, hyung" he finally said and w shook his head, readying himself to be asked 'why'.

"Oh is it because of your mom? I think I've heard it when you two were talking on the phone. You've mentioned about agreeing on something" Jisung was actually surprised on how attentive Minho is. He doesn't even remember what they have talked about that time. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that"

"No, hyung. It's okay, and yeah she said she'll let me go and live on my own if I just moved in here with you guys. I don't even know if I can live by myself but I will try. That's what I promised myself and I have to do it. Not because I don't want to be with you anymore. I just want to at least do something that will prove to my parents that I can survive without them" he explained and Minho was playing with the rocks on his shoes while listening.

"Have you told Felix and Hyunjin?"
"That's the problem. I don't know how to tell them"
"I'm pretty sure they'll understand if you just explained properly"
"I hope so"
"But you can always come back tho"
"Huh?"

"I mean, living on your own is really hard. Not that I'm doubting you, but it's based on experience. I can't live without Felix so I accepted the fact that without my brother, I'd rather live with my friends. I just don't want to be alone and it's not actually bad to think that way" Jisung got to thinking if he really wants to move out and prove something or just continue living with them.

"Hyung?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I be honest?"
"Sure. Why not?"
"I also don't know how to say this but you're holding me back"
"Holding you back?"
"I can't really decide on leaving this house because of you"

Jisung then stared at Minho and the older was also looking deeply at him. It's like they are communicating about what they are actually feeling right now with just both of their eyes.

"Is it wrong to say that I don't want you to leave too?" Minho asked and Jisung was actually surprised with his question. "I just want to take care of you and to see you in this house everytime I want to"

Minho then held Jisung's hand and tried to intertwine them, but they're both awkward so he doesn't really know if Jisung would want to hold his and he was surprised that the younger initiated on clasping their hands together.

"Hyung what about Minnie noona?"
"Ji, you don't have to worry about her. I don't like her anymore and there's nothing going on between us"

He answered fast and now Jisung's heart is about to explode. Now what? What can he ask more to be convinced to stay in this house?

"Can't you just stay here, Ji? Please?"