Claustrophobic Mind

Chapter 20

When Mike got home from visiting Tré, he immediately went up to the guest bedroom to check on Billie Joe. He half expected him to be asleep, but also thought he would be awake looking at nothing.

Mike gently put his hand on the doorknob and, after unlocking it, opened the door. The smell that met Mike's nose made him cringe. It smelt sickly.

He didn't see Billie in the bed, and started to panic. Mike quickly searched the room for any sign of his friend. He gasped when he finally caught sight of the small man.

Billie Joe sat in the corner of the room on his knees and his head resting against the wall. He was surrounded by throw up, which Mike assumed was the cause of the horrible smell. Mike didn't walk over to Billie right away.

"Bill? Are you alright?" Mike hesitated.

Billie slowly turned around to look at Mike. His eyes looked bloodshot and exhausted. He didn't move; he couldn't.

Mike walked over to Billie Joe. He slid his hands under Billie's shoulders and lifted him to his feet. Mike tried to avoid the vomit that Billie's shirt was covered in.

"I'm sorry," Billie Joe said. He felt guilty for causing Mike so much trouble.

"It's not your fault Billie Joe," Mike sighed. He wasn't the least bit annoyed, just worried for his friend.

He led Billie to the bathroom to clean him up, just as he did the night he found him. Mike sat Billie Joe on the toilet. He got a wet rag and wiped the mess off of Billie's face, being especially gentle around his cuts. When he got to Billie Joe's lips, he remembered how his teeth got chipped that night.

"Let me see your teeth," Mike said.

Billie hesitated, but eventually opened his mouth. It revealed a bunch of cracked teeth that made Mike cringe.

"You're busted up man," Mike chuckled, a smile creeping on his lips.

And then Billie Joe did something that Mike hasn't seen him do in weeks; he smiled.

"Haven't seen you do that in a while," Mike whispered. The smile on Billie's face faded back into the usual blank look that he had.

Mike, disappointed that Billie Joe let the smile creep off his lips, took Billie's shirt off to replaced it with a clean one. Unable to find anymore shirts that were too small, Mike ended up putting Billie into one that made him look tinier than he already does.

"Well aren't you just the cutest," Mike mocked. He pinched Billie's cheeks causing him to grin a bit.

"What did he say?" Billie Joe asked, completely off topic.

"What?" Mike asked. He knew what Billie was asking, but he couldn't bring himself to answer his simple question.

Billie Joe sighed and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. He ran his fingers through his dark hair before he continued.

"What did Tré say about my question?" Billie asked, obviously oblivious to the fact that Mike knew what he was asking.

"Oh! Yeah, um...he said no hard feelings. He said there's nothing that could ever ruin your friendship," Mike lied.

Billie looked at him for a while. He stared into Mike's eyes. Mike knew that Billie Joe wasn't convinced. They've known each other for so long that they could quite easily tell when one of them was lying. Billie frowned.

"Are you lying to me?" Billie Joe asked on the verge of tears.

That was it. Mike couldn't take it. He couldn't bare to watch Billie cry because of him.

"Look Bill, I didn't ask him," Mike confessed.

Billie shook his head back and forth and looked away from Mike. The lump in his throat grew. He self consciously rubbed his burns while looking out the window of the bedroom.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to lie to you, but I just couldn't ask Tré that. If I did, he would know that I have you here. You do understand how much trouble I could get in for hiding you right?"

Billie Joe nodded.

"Now I know that Tré would most likely not tell anyone that I have you, but you never know who could hear. I just don't want you to go to jail," Mike finished.

Billie turned his face back to Mike. He narrowed his eyes before he spoke.

"Are you sure you're just doing this for me?" Billie Joe growled.

"What are you talking about-"

"I'm not stupid Mike. You aren't trying to keep me from going to jail. You're trying to keep yourself from going to jail. Fink told me."

"Who the fuck is Fink?" Mike asked.

"Don't talk about him!" Billie screamed pointing a finger at Mike. Mike leaned back, scared by Billie Joe's sudden anger.

"Billie Joe, this isn't about me. This is about you. I'm trying to keep you from being thrown in a prison-"

"Just stop! Stop please! I can't take this anymore!" Billie screamed pulling at his hair.

Mike grabbed Billie Joe's hands before he could rip too much hair out of his head. He held his small, frail arms down in his laps while tears formed in his eyes. He couldn't believe that Billie would think that he would do that.

"Don't pull your hair out, Bill-"

"Why the fuck do you care?! Why do you care about me when I'm so broken?! All I am is a pain in your ass!" Billie Joe said, now sobbing.

"I don't know why you're feeling this way Billie," Mike croaked.

Billie continued to sob, not comprehending Mike's words. He started to slightly rock himself back and forth while Mike held his arms like he's in a straight jacket.

"You know I don't feel that way Billie Joe. I don't care if I go to jail for hiding you. I only care if you go to jail," Mike assured Billie.

Billie nodded.

"I care about you so much. You're my best friend," Mike continued.

"I'm so sorry Mikey," Billie Joe sobbed.

Mike brushed Billie's hair off his sweaty forehead. Billie closed his eyes in shame. Mike felt pity for him.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about."

Billie fell forward into Mike's arms and started to cry even harder. Mike started to cry as well. He wrapped his arms around Billie Joe's shaking body and brought him into his lap. Billie let him. He pulled Billie Joe into a much needed, tight hug. Mike didn't expect what happened next to happen in a million years.

Billie Joe hugged back.