Claustrophobic Mind

Chapter 1

"Billie Joe, are you alright?" Tré asked.

A distant look crossed Billie's face as he looked out the window of his room. He sat with his knees to his chest, simply ignoring Tré's question.

The voice was back. He could hear it. It wouldn't leave him alone, not even at night. The voice would taunt him and frighten him while he sat there unable to do anything about it. It was always the same voice. Always about the same thing. He thought it was gone. Billie Joe truly thought it left, but he was proven wrong. Yes, he was proven very wrong.

There were times when he would debate whether he should tell Mike and Tré what was going on, but he couldn't. The voice wouldn't let him. It would threaten him. It would tell him that he would lose his friends, his family, even his band if he ever did such a thing. So Billie Joe sat there, ignoring Tré's question. He couldn't possibly tell Tré what was happening to him.

"Billie Joe, you've been in that same position for the last three hours. You haven't talked to me and Mike at all today. What's wrong?" Tré asked concerned.

Billie hesitated, but he figured if he stayed quiet any longer, Mike and Tré would truly start believing that he's going mad.

"Tré...have you ever heard...voices in your head?" Billie said while continuing to stare out the window.

"Maybe when I'm doing something wrong and voices in my head are saying that it's probably not a good idea," Tré said, confused to say the least.

"Do they ever taunt you? Do they ever stay and they won't leave when you tell them to? Do they ever keep you awake at night?" Billie Joe mumbled.

"If I'm being honest, no. Why do you ask? Does that happen to you Billie Joe?" Tré asked sitting up and knitting his eyebrows together.

Finally Billie looked over at Tré, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Of course not! I'm not insane right?" Billie asked as if he were looking for Tré to give him the answer. As if he wasn't sure himself.

"Maybe you don't think you are, but I sure as hell do! Have you seen how you act on stage?" Tré joked as he chuckled at the thought of Billie Joe running around on stage, entertaining everyone in the audience.

"Really?" Billie asked now sitting up with wide eyes. Did Tré really think he's going crazy? Does he know?

Billie shouldn't have said anything. He knew that. Now Tré knows, and he's going to tell Mike and Billie's family and then the band will fall apart and he will be sent to an insane asylum and his kids will be scared to see him. No, he didn't want that.

"Billie Joe, I was just joking-"

"I'm NOT crazy, Tré!" Billie shouted, standing to his feet.

"Billie, calm down man," Tré spoke as he stood and held his hands out to Billie. Why is he being so defensive?

"No, no no I'm not crazy. I'm not fucking mad. I'm sane! I'm not losing my mind for fucks sake," Billie Joe mumbled while running his hands through his hair and walking in circles.

Billie Joe continued to walk in circles and mumble to himself that he's not crazy. Tré watch in astonishment, not knowing what to do.

You ARE going crazy. How else would you be hearing me? The voice spoke.

"No, you're just in my head. You're not there. I'm imagining you. Stop talking to me," Billie accidentally blurted out. He knew that Tré heard, but he didn't care. His biggest concern was getting the voice to shut up.

You're nothing. You're just a raging lunatic.

"I'm not insane!" Billie shouted.

"Billie Joe, sit down," Tré spoke while his hands rested on Billie's shoulders.

Look! Even Tré thinks you're crazy. He said so himself! Just admit it Billie Joe, you're nothing.

Billie shook his head.

"I'm just trying to help you Billie. Talk to me!"

He's not trying to help you for your safety. He only wants you to calm down so he can carry on with Green Day. He only cares if you're okay because he wants it for the money.

Billie shook his head.

"Do you want me to get Mike?"

Don't listen to him. He doesn't care. He doesn't care about you either, he just wants the fame.

"S-Stop..." Billie Joe choked out.

"Billie Joe? Can you hear me?!"

He's going to tell everyone.

Billie gritted his teeth.

"BILLIE!"

You can't escape me Billie. I'm in you're head. And eventually...you're going to die because of me.

"No!"

"Billie Joe!"

Tick tock. It's just a matter of time.

Billie Joe fell to the ground and pulled himself into a ball. He cried and shook while Tré desperately called his name. He could barely hear him over his cries and the voice in his head. Billie didn't want this. He didn't want to be crazy. He didn't want to have to share his thoughts. He didn't want a claustrophobic mind.

"Billie?"

Billie didn't respond to Tré, but he did crawl into his arms. Tré wrapped himself around Billie and held him close. Billie Joe's cries soon died down, leaving him with sniffles and dried tears.

Tré didn't sleep that night, for he was afraid for Billie Joe. What was happening to him?

A faint snore came from the small man. Tré instinctively played with his soft hair and wiped away the remaining tears in his face. A shiver came from Billie Joe followed by a few incomprehensible mumbles.

Tré stayed as still as possible, trying his hardest not to wake the man. He didn't want to disturb the sleep that Billie was finally enjoying. After all, Billie hasn't slept in days.