Claustrophobic Mind

Chapter 24

The next day Billie Joe hesitated before walking onto the deck where Mike sat. He casually smoked a cigarette just as he told Billie he would do before he went outside. Billie didn't want to disturb his peace, but he had to talk to Mike now.

"Mikey?" Billie Joe asked, poking his head around the sliding glass doors that led to the deck.

Mike blew out a quick puff of smoke before turning around to look at Billie. He gave Billie a warm smile before he spoke.

"Hey Bill," Mike said casually.

Billie Joe swallowed hard. He stepped halfway out onto the porch instantly feeling the heat of the night summer air. He took that moment to breathe in a large breath of air trying to calm his anxiety.

"I gotta ask you something," Billie said while he started nervously playing with his fingers.

Mike glanced down at Billie Joe's hands for a quick second. He knew immediately that Billie was feeling anxious like he randomly did oftentimes.

"Come here, Billie Joe. What's wrong?" Mike asked, gesturing for Billie to come over.

Billie tiptoed out of the glass doors and onto the warm deck while holding his breath. He didn't want Mike to worry about him.

"Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to ask you something," Billie Joe said while he walked over to Mike.

He shuffled over to Mike with his head down. When he reached Mike, he sat on his lap while wrapping his legs around Mike's waist. His legs hung off the sides in the chair Mike was sat in as he laid their chests together. Billie put his head in the crook of Mike's neck and sighed. Mike wrapped his arms around Billie's back tightly.

"I'm not stupid Billie. I know something's wrong. Now spill," Mike said smiling.

Billie Joe pulled away from Mike's chest while looking down. He didn't want to look Mike in the eyes for some reason. He again started to play with his fingers.

"I..."

Mike lifted his eyebrows waiting for Billie Joe to finish his sentence.

Billie brought his hands to his mouth and started to nervously bite his nails. Mike noticed this and immediately pulled his hands away from his lips.

"Don't do that Bill, you know that just makes your anxiety worse."

Billie nodded.

"Mike..."

"Yes?" Mike asked, confused as to why Billie Joe was so scared to ask him something.

"You know how Adrienne said you should get my medicine?"

Mike nodded, knowing where this was going.

"I was wondering if you could get it for me. I-I really need it re-recently," Billie stuttered while he nervously played with his fingers.

Mike chuckled a little bit at Billie's question. Billie Joe looked up at him and narrowed his eyes.

"What's so funny?"

"Why were you so scared to ask me this Bill?" Mike whispered trying to make eye contact with Billie Joe.

Billie shrugged.

Mike pulled Billie Joe back into a hug. He smiled as the chests connected again with Billie's. Billie Joe naturally laid his back into Mike's neck. Mike rubbed circles on Billie's back.

"I didn't think that you would trust me to be alone after what I told you yesterday morning," Billie Joe mumbled into Mike's shirt.

"Oh Billie," Mike said before he squeezed Billie Joe into a tighter hug.

Mike didn't want to tell Billie that he was scared to leave him alone after what he said, so he didn't. But he also didn't tell him otherwise. He didn't want to lie to Billie Joe. Instead he just sat silently while holding his friend close, realizing he was all that Billie had left.

"Thank you for holding me Mike," Billie Joe suddenly whispered.

Mike started to tear up at Billie's words. He started to tear up at Billie in general. Billie Joe was so different now. He used to be so happy and lighthearted, but now he was lost and weak.

"Any time Bill," Mike sighed.

Billie Joe sighed shakily.

"I remember when daddy used to hold me like this," Billie Joe whispered, pulling himself closer to Mike.

"Billie-"

"We used to wake up early together and watch the sunrise. I remember waiting for mom to make breakfast while we sat and just talked," Billie sighed.

Mike silenced himself.

"I remember exactly how upset I was when he told me my hands were too small for guitar. I wanted to be a rock star. I wanted to play music like him," Billie spoke.

Mike was surprised that Billie Joe wasn't crying. He figured that it felt good for Billie to talk about it every once and a while.

"I didn't know what to do with myself when he died. It was like I died too. I...I was only ten Mike," Billie Joe whispered.

Mike nodded.

"He told me everything was going to be okay. He said it would all work out."

Billie pulled away to look at Mike.

"He said it always does. I...I believe him Mikey," Billie Joe said. He smiled a little at his words, causing Mike to grin as well.

Mike looked into Billie's green eyes. They hadn't completely returned their full shine, but they were getting somewhere. He was glad to see that Billie Joe wasn't lost in his suicidal trance that he was locked in the morning before.

"Let's go back inside so I can go get your medication. I want to get there and back before dark. Are you okay to be alone for half an hour?" Mike asked holding Billie's shoulders.

Billie nodded.

"Good."

They rose to their feet and started to make their way back inside. Mike was happy to see that Billie's limping had almost completely gone away. Mike grabbed his keys and threw on his jacket ready to head out the door. Before he left, he decided to give Billie Joe one last reassuring hug.

He held Billie close. Mike felt him slightly shaking. Billie Joe tried to hide it with a few pats in Mike's back.

"I won't do anything stupid," Billie sighed, pulling away from Mike.

Mike ran his hands through his hair before nodding to Billie Joe. He was still nervous about leaving Billie after he was having suicidal thoughts, but Mike knew it was too dangerous to bring Billie Joe out in public. Billie needed this medication. Mike hated seeing Billie get anxious over small things.

Fink stood by the door and watched Billie Joe. Billie glanced at him. He stood behind Mike's back, but either way, Mike wouldn't see him. His devil tail swung evilly.

Mike rubbed Billie's shoulder and gave him a smile before turning to open the door. Billie Joe felt the warm air hit his face instantly.

Billie waited for Mike to close the door behind him before he spoke again.

"Thank you, Mikey."