Sirus pov.
These past few weeks, I barely see remus since he's always busy with the order. James and lily have been visiting me alot, as they know I have been feeling really lonely. I hated that he's been busy and not around when I'm in a bad place.
8am.
I woke up and felt someone's arm around my waist. I turn around to see it was remus, I was still tired since I can barely sleep without him here. I looked at him, he was peacefully asleep, I wasn't sure how long before he had to go.
I wrapped my arms around him, and snuggled into him. Hmm what are you doing babe remus said, getting comfy when did you come home I asked. Just after 1, its been a long day remus said, are you staying today I asked. No I have to leave at 3pm to finish off some paperwork remus said.
Why can't you do this here, I miss spending time with you I said, you know I can't we have alot to do remus said. It's not fair I don't even see you through the day and when I do, you just sleep I said. Don't be selfish right now I can't control what we are doing remus said. Selfish your calling me selfish the only people who have seen me is james and lily and that's because you ask them I said.
You know what I'm leaving don't expect me till 10pm remus said, whatever its not like you care about me I said. I felt him pin me to the bed, really you wanna go there right now remus said, I look into his eyes he was mad like really mad. I'll see you later just don't do anything stupid remus said.
He leaves the house, I didn't know what to do anymore I just let out my feelings since I missed him alot. I don't know if he knows I'm not eating again since he wanted me to keep eating.
12pm,
I was in the living room putting more things around. I hear someone enter through the fireplace, I look and see it was james looking angry. What the hell why did you say that to remus james said. I just let out my feelings I said, really your feelings he's to busy in the order maybe if you were there you would spend time with him or been able to save regulas james said.
I punched him in the face not a care in the world, sirus I didn't mean it james said. I don't care you don't know what it's like to loose your brother to your parents and being forced to join the death eaters I said. Sirus please forgive me i was just mad james said, get out I don't want to talk to you I said.
He left the house, I was upset, I hated the fact he brought up regulas. He knows I hate myself, for not being able to get there in time to save them. I knew he regretted saying that, but I was just upset and angry. I calmed down, and started to carry on redoing the whole house.
I was broken, I wanted to give up on life and leave this world. It feels like everyone is against me and wants me gone. I hear the fireplace go off again. Seriously again I'm not in the mood again James I said. I turn around to see it was mcgonical standing there, I think we need to talk don't you mcgonical said.
We started talking to each other, she listened to me, and helped me to try get through my pain. Are you shutting everyone out due to the grief or is there something else mcgonical said. I guess I didn't know I was shutting everyone out, I don't have remus here since he's always busy I said. I understand, I think you should talk to remus about this, he will understand mcgonical said.
I don't know, he was mad when I wanted him to stay with me I said. He will and have you eaten today I can make you something to eat Mcgonical said. Yeah I have I said, I was lying but hopefully she didn't notice I was. Ok I have to head back just take care of yourself mcgonical said, as she leaves.
3pm.
I was in our room getting the dirty clothes to wash, I saw a note in remus trousers. It was reminding him to get me book to read and food. I remember he told me to write this so he could do it after he finished his mission. I took everything out the pockets and put it to wash.
