"Best friends forever" is such bullshit because I had a best friend, but he sure as hell isn't forever. Then why is the universe making him my project partner now? And why is he so hot and beautiful... just why?
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"Mason," I hear a sweet whisper, which surprises me as no one in the basement other than me. I see Noa coming downstairs, her cherry hair in a messy ponytail.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, trying to wipe my tears.
"I brought you some ice cream. Daddy always gives me ice cream when I'm upset."
"I don't want it."
"I know you miss your grandpa, but I'm always here for you, you know?" She extends the ice cream towards me with her puppy eyes, and I melt away.
At my grandpa's funeral, I got to taste the real world, or maybe the taste of the sad, lonely world. I guess that was the day when I just stopped trying to be everyone's life and just left everyone else's. I stopped hanging out with friends and stopped actually talking to Dad and Mom. Not talking to her was the easiest; the hard part was not talking to Noa. I was scared for her, from her, because if she were to leave, I would have lost it. But life loves to play with me, and in the circle of life, I'm back to the point where I think losing Noa would be devastating.
In the past few weeks, we have formed a routine to always meet after school and hang out at the cabin. Though the hangout turns into hookup sessions, we always make time for each other. Noa has a small bag of things for her at the cabin, and I don't mind that even a bit.
Today, there was a mild change of plans. Koty wanted to hang out, so we are at my dad's place playing crossword, and I had never been this calm.
"No words can be made with 'Z,' Noa," Koty leans his head on his hands.
"No, but it can," Noa places her two 'Os' on the board. "And I win."
"Oh, man! Again?" Koty gets up and stomps up to his room.
"He is a sore loser," Noa looks at me with her eyes .. with those magical green-blue eyes! "Well, I think that means the game is over?" I nod.
We both get up from the floor and pack the game. "I'll drop you," I take my car keys from the table.
"You don't—" "I'll drop you," I give her a stern look to shut her up. I grab her hand, and we head to my car.
I put the car in drive, and we both sit silently throughout the way. Yes, we both enjoy comfortable silence, which is very rare because my cherry here doesn't like the quiet. But today, she seems off. Not just today; she has been this way for a couple of days.
"Babe, all good?" I park the car near her house.
"Yup, why?" She starts to get up.
"You sure? You just seem off."
"Yeah, just many things on my mind." She leans in to kiss me on the cheek, but I turn my head towards her and taste her cherry lips... always cherry with her.
We break apart, and I cup her cheek. "You can burden me with your thoughts. Always."
She sighs, and her expression gets all weary. "What... um... what are we, Mason?"
I furrow my brows in confusion. "We are... Mason and Noa?"
She smacks my shoulder. "No, dumbass! I meant, what are we doing? Are we together or something?"
I stop because there is no thought in my head. I'm all blank with this question because I have never thought that far. "I guess... we are kind of together?"
"Kind of? Mason, that's not an answer!"
"Noa, it's just I haven't thought about that yet. I just mean that it's not that I don't want to be with you. I do, but I have things to take care of, and I don't think I am... there yet." I know I know that was the wrong thing to say, and I know I just messed up the one good thing in my life.
"So you are ready to have your dick wet but not to be in a relationship?" She asks in a frighteningly bland tone.
"No! It's not like that at all. It's..." I just can't. I sigh. "Noa, I have priorities. I have hockey, I have Koty, and I can't..." I stop talking because I don't know what to say. "I can't afford distraction." I look down at my hands because I can't look at her. After all, again I'm at square one.
"Ohh," Noa whispers. "At least we got things out of our minds." She opens the door and gets out of the car.
"Noa, listen to me, I—"
"No, I have listened, and I think I should go. Bye, Mason. See you later."
And me being an asshole, I see her get into her house, just letting her go,
