"Best friends forever" is such bullshit because I had a best friend, but he sure as hell isn't forever. Then why is the universe making him my project partner now? And why is he so hot and beautiful... just why?
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The memorial was short and simple. There weren't many people there, just some from her work that I never knew, and... my friends? It was surprising, all of them were there. Not for Mom, but for me, which, to be honest, made me feel cared for. They were all there: Beau, Silas, Kaiden, even Ivy, whom I have met once or twice maybe. And Noa. Seeing her there made me breathe easier because I love this crazy, generous, cherry-headed cartoon to my very core. It still gave me hope that we were not yet... and which relationship does not have its drawbacks? I sure as heck am going to conquer them.
The pastor said a few words for Mom and her peace, and I hope she finds her peace because she couldn't find it here. Dad said some nice things about her, but neither me nor Koty had anything to say because we didn't have any good things to say about her, so it was better to not say anything.
One thing I did learn was how things can go from up to down in a matter of seconds, and it does not rely on anybody's plan. So, to hell with my plans for life and what-fucking-ever else, as long as Noa is with me, I don't care about anything else.
As the memorial ends, I find Noa outside the church at the edge of the road, waiting with her mom. She is wearing a black dress like everybody else and looks so out of character, her hair tucked in a bun, which I want to tug out of, but then I see her sneaker-doodled sneakers, and I know that's the Noa I love.
"Noa," she turns towards me, surprised to hear me. "Hey."
"Mason, honey, we are so sorry for your loss," Mrs. Scott expresses her condolences.
I smile at her. "Thank you for coming, Mrs. Scott." I turn to Noa. "I, um, I wanted to talk to you."
She doesn't say anything, but I can see from her expression that she doesn't. At the corner of my eye, I can see the confusion and suspicion on her mom's face, but I ignore it. "Yeah... sure."
I smile in relief and tilt my head toward the corner of the church where we could talk privately.
"How are you?" she asks as soon as we get out of everyone's earshot.
"I'm fine, but I really didn't want to talk about that." "Mason-"
"I love you, how could I not? Of course, I love you," I interrupt her, giving her no reason to argue. "That's the thing, you make me feel and forget about anything else. You make me feel like... like there is more to life than I think, and," I take hold of her soft hand with mine, trying to feel close to her, "and your love makes me feel worthy of everything, and that's a very new feeling which I was terrified of." I take a huge breath, trying to get my head straight. Noa just stared at me in disbelief, but I wasn't yet finished. "Noa, things haven't been good with me after the shit that went down with my parents, and it made me wary of all things. The only permanent thing I had was taking care of Koty and hockey, and I forgot to take care of myself. But then you came again, and it made me scared that you are temporary. That's why I said what I said. I am sorry, baby, so sorry. Today, I'm sad because of losing the mother I never had but I don't ever want to lose you, ever." I look at her, pleading my case, and suddenly she's tugging me through my jacket's lapel and kissing me with all the passion she has.
She tries to move back, but I grab her by her face and kiss her with all that I have, all tongue, in front of everyone, declaring to the world that I'm hers forever.
After a while, we stop, and she whispers the three words that I always want to hear from her, "I love you," and we are kissing again. I don't care who is watching because I have my dream girl in my arms.
