"Best friends forever" is such bullshit because I had a best friend, but he sure as hell isn't forever. Then why is the universe making him my project partner now? And why is he so hot and beautiful... just why?
That's the first thing that registers in my head, but I'm still unable to understand it because there's only one image replaying in my mind: my mother lying in a pool of blood at the bottom of her stairs. I think my hands are still covered in her blood. "Due to high intoxication in her blood, she must have lost her balance and slipped. She also lost a lot of blood, which resulted in her death," the doctor continues, still talking to my dad, who came straight from his work. I don't think I've ever seen him this way—his clothes all rumpled and wrinkled, his hair unkempt. And maybe I'm noticing all these useless things because I don't want to concentrate on the main thing here.
My dad comes and sits beside me. "How are you holding up, buddy?" I want to laugh at the word "buddy" he used, but I can't stop staring at my hands. Dad covers my hands with his. "Mason?"
"I don't know," I answer honestly. Suddenly, He grabs me and engulfs me with a hug. I take that all in and try not to think about Mom because if I do, I'm afraid I won't feel anything at all about it.
My dad releases me and keeps his arm around my shoulder. "I didn't know her drinking problem was this bad. I would have..." He sighs.
I get dressed for the funeral mechanically. We are having a small funeral for her. It's all normal as it goes: a burial, then a ceremony, and fuck knows what else. It's been almost 24 hours since I got to her house yesterday and saw her lifeless body at the bottom of the steps. It still feels unreal.
I hear a knock at my door, it flies open by Koty. "Can you help me with a tie? I don't know how to do it." I nod at him and call him near the mirror.
We've barely talked, just two sentences, since the incident. Just Dad making sure we're okay. I thought Koty would be sad, but he seems fine, rather not talking and being his sunshine self. but okay. "I don't feel anything," he says in a timid voice. I scrunch my brows at him in question. "I don't feel like crying. I feel sad, but not so much to cry for her. She wasn't very nice."
"No, she wasn't." I look at Koty like he has solved all my problems in just a minute, because he has. Because yes, I'm sad and disturbed by the incident, but I'm not devastated for her. She never felt like a family to me. "We should get going. I'll get Dad, then we'll be together throughout, yeah?" He nods and goes to his room.
I find Dad in his study, nursing a glass of whisky in his hand. I knock at his door. "Dad? We should get going." He looks up in surprise but nods at me in agreement. "Yeah."
I turn, but I'm stopped by his voice. "Mason? I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm sorry." He genuinely seems disturbed and sad for her. "I should have taken better care of this. I should have..." He shakes his head in regret. "You did, Dad. You really did," I say, because yes, I may have few issues with him, but he gives a big shit about me, about us.
He gives me a sad smile and sighs. "If you want to pursue hockey, you can do it. You are exceptionally good at it. But I think you should still attend college, just for my reassurance." I nod at him, understanding his worries. I guess someone was right. That someone was right about many things. "I'm looking for colleges with a nice hockey department already."
"Good, good. I think the girl, Noa, has a good influence on you. Don't lose her, son."
I know, Dad, and I sure as heck am not going to lose her again.
