Look For The Light|| JILL ROORD .

A little too real

A/N Tomorrow is my birthday so I will be posting an extra for that!😘

I'd walked into Lucy and Keira's house, only to be met by the Barcelona squad. They were all talking but when I walked through the door, The room fell silent. Almost as if they were afraid to speak. Instantly Lucy came rushing by my side to close the door and help me walk into the couch. 

"Why didn't you call so we could pick you up?" Lucy asked me. 

"My phone was dead," I said dully. My phone wasn't dead. I wanted to be alone. As much as I would enjoy their company, Something wasn't right. I had no clue what injury I had so I just had to sit here and talk like I'm not terrified of what it actually might be. What I hoped it wasn't.

 Everybody slowly picked back up in their conversation, while I sat and stared. I had no clue if my season at Barcelona was done, or If I would miss all of pre-season.  Whatever it was, this made me feel like coming here was a mistake. Almost like a setback, instead of a step forward.

Mapi sat hip to hip with me on the sofa as I stared off into space she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled my head to her chest. 

"Maldice esta acl (Curse this ACL). I'll have to wait forever before I can brag to Lucy about our workout session." she stroked my head.

I chuckled "Only a few months..." I said aloud, but you really couldn't put a period of time on when you'll be ready to come back to the game. And a matter of If I come back...

*Next day* 

It was around 8:30 when my phone went blaring. I picked it up with my face smooshed into the pillow, exhausted from staying up all night.

"Hello," I said tiredly. 

"Is this Hudson Morgan?" asked a lady. 

"Yes?" I said sitting up and looking at the unknown number on my phone. 

"I'm calling from the Hospital de Barcelona, I have your MRI for your knee. I'm unfortunately the one who has to tell you but you did tear your ACL. If you'd like to contact FC Barcelona to let them know to schedule your surgery and make your recovery plan, Or I can contact them as well if you'd like?" She said all at once. I couldn't process it. 

"could you... Please." I wanted to break down. But I held it together. I ended the phone call and set my phone face down on the dresser. I rubbed my face and sighed. Not know what I was gonna do.  2 ACL injuries in the span of 2 seasons. I scoffed to myself. I haven't even scratched the surface of showing everybody what I could do. 

My phone rang while I was in the bathroom and I rushed back to the nightstand to get it. The caller ID read: Housing Agent. I picked the phone up imminently. I loved Lucy and Keira but not being able to drink during hard times is hard. 

"Hello?" I asked 

"Hi, Hudson I've just emailed you pictures of the two houses you have to pick out of. There are more options, but further away from Barceloan's training center." She finished. 

I'd opened the email and told her the house I wanted, It wasn't too big nor too small. She'd told me I could move in today, So I told Lucy to help me go furniture shopping. It was a 3-bedroom house, So I planned to have a guest bedroom, my bedroom, and a studio for me to make music. If there was one thing I enjoyed doing was singing, and making songs for myself. I'd never showed people my songs Unless they were meant for someone. Music was just another way for me to express myself. 

I'd packed all my things up, not that I had much, or even settled in really. I'd just gotten here, and within 48 hours I was put flat on my ass. Adulting is harder than it seems. However, maybe not adulting, just living abroad. Too many steps to live overseas, and having to move your whole life seems a lot easier when it's said and not done.

Lucy drove me to the house and I met with the agent and signed the paperwork. Me and Lucy made our way around the house looking at the rooms. We went out in the city looking at all types of furniture stores and having all kinds of things delivered to my new home. couches, beds, tables.

*3 days later*

Everything had been delivered and set up. It almost felt like a real home. But it was missing a short old lady alongside it. I'd missed Ruth so much. I'd just finished preparing and cooking dinner, So I brought my food to the living room, with a nice tall glass of ice and whiskey. I was truly stuck. A year ago I was in the same position, just in London.

After a glass or two, I'd gain some strength and made my way to my studio. I flipped the light switch on and a smile came to my face. This was really mine. I'd never had anything like this. I hopped into the chair powering on everything getting ready to make a song. Or try. 

After 4 consecutive hours of recording and some editing, I'd almost finished my song. I'd never sing this song, I mean I couldn't. It was about Jill. I wasn't stable enough for that. Singing it was hard itself.

I had just got out of the shower and got ready for bed. I was now sitting on the couch watching All American. 

*Ding*

*Ding*

*Ding*

My phone pinged. I opened Instagram and the first post that popped up is the Ballon d'Or nominees. I'm on the list. I'm on the list...

*Jill's pov* 

I was at Emse's house in Manchester, lying in her Guest bedroom, Scrolling on everyone's stories. When I saw Fifa posted the Ballon d'Or nominees. The first person I looked for on the screen was Hudson, Make sure she didn't get robbed. All I wanted to do was congratulate her, but wouldn't that come off as weird? I just need to shake this off. But I'm so proud of her, with everything she's been through.