Come Back To Me My Love

15

Endless nerves begin rushing through my veins when I enter the bar. It's filled with mostly men and a few women. Most women are the servers who try to flirt with casual looking men.
I remember a server who tried to flirt with Severus but I was not having it that day. I wanted to cause a scene but Severus stopped me and convinced me to leave with him before anything happened.
Not a good place or time to bring a date if you ask me.

"Hey gorgeous. Looking for a good time?" A drunk man tumbles off his chair but catches his balance. I wanted to hold my breath when that strong smell forcefully made its way into my nostril. That horrible smell that I hate so much.

"No. Now excuse me." I brush past him but he grabs my arm.

"Don't be like that. Why don't we go somewhe-"

"Get your fucking hands off of me." I warn while yanking my arm back. The man laughs and goes to sit back down with his drink.
Once I get past a small crowd, I mostly see married men with groups of friends or coworkers just having a few laughs. Some look like business men which I somewhat feel safe around.

I start to look around but these dim lights with bright neon signs make it difficult to see who I'm looking at. My head keeps turning everywhere to find Marcella but it's impossible. And the cigarette smell is not helping.

"Anything to drink?" The server asks me. Her red uniform shirt and small skirt with a black apron around her waist reminds me of the woman who tried to flirt with Severus. Luckily this server has tied up blonde hair.

"Can I just get some water?"

"Sure. I'll be right back." She says with a smile. I forcefully smile back and go to sit at an empty table in the corner with 3 chairs.
While everyone enjoys their time with friends or dates, I keep my eye out for Marcella just so I don't miss my opportunity to see what she's doing to these innocent men.
"Here you go." She puts the glass of water in front of me with a few napkins.

"Thank you."

"Let me know if you want anything else. Our new strawberry margarita is worth trying." She offers.

"I'll think about it." I respond. She smiles and walks away to attend other customers.

As I sit in this corner with a glass of water in my hand, I somewhat feel so out of place than before. I've been inside this place many times with Severus on occasions like celebrating his promotion, celebrating his birthday, and even our anniversary from when we first kissed. We would always find something to celebrate about but as the time went on, I slowly stopped drinking because I wanted to create a family one day. I wanted his child so bad that I forced myself to stop drinking. It was so hard for me to do alone. I gave up a few times and got drunk with Severus again when I couldn't take it anymore.

Getting drunk with him was a relief that I needed sometimes. It was my way to stop stressing and forget about everything. I would drink all my problems away until we talk about creating a family. Which would usually turn to us trying to create a family until we quickly sober up and grab the potion before anything happens.

Sometimes I do miss those kinds of "dates" with Severus. There are times when I want to drink with him but he promised me he wouldn't go back to his habits. And besides, I don't think I want to get drunk anymore.
Not after my horrendous accident that I kept from Severus, even to this day.

*Flashback*

'I grab another tissue with a very shaky hand to soak up my endless tears and place it on a mountain of tissues next to me.