Anonymous Admirer (BL)

19

RICHARD VAN HYDEN

As soon as I opened the front door of our house, August was there standing right in front of me, with his worried face and curious eyes.

Hinintay ko siyang magsalita, but he remained silent.

Or is he also waiting for me to speak and open up to him? Either way, I don't have the energy to confide to anyone yet.

Should I just ignore him and walk pass him?

“Um, hey...” Finally, he spoke.

What the hell, the atmosphere is getting awkward. Just say it!

“August, pagod pa ako ngayon. Kung may sasabihin ka, ipabukas mo nalang,” ani ko.

“Dahil ba 'to kay Madison... kaya ka nagkakaganito?”

I flinched.

How did he hit the bull's eye? He's usually a slow poke and sometimes an ignorant.

I'm guessing may isang nagkwento sa kanya, someone who's observant, someone like Cairo.

“Yeah, I'm giving up on her. I don't like her anymore,” I answered, and faked a smile.

“Why?”

“Probably because, I realized... wala akong pag-asa sa kanya. Kaya bakit pa ako magsasayang ng oras sa kanya.”

There's no point of telling him the whole story. It's something I can't share anyways, Madison probably expects me to keep that secret to myself.

And the reason why she told it to me, was not because she trusts me more than anyone, but instead, to let me know that she is not available anymore and to stop me from falling deeper to her.

“Hindi na ako kakain ng hapunan, so don't call me later,” wika ko, at pumanhik na sa kwarto ko.

Ilang oras ang sinayang ko, nakahiga lang ako sa kama habang nakatulala sa puting kisame.

This is getting boring.

~ • ° • ~

The next day, sinubukan kong ibalik ang sigla ko. Whether I fool them or not, it doesn't matter.

Moving on is a hard concept to fully understand, one can act like their alright, but how could you forget everything in one night especially after you gave all your efforts just to be wasted.

“Dadaanan ba natin si Cairo?” I asked my brother while he's still preparing his things.

“Ayos lang ba?”

“Duh, hindi ako magtatanong kung ayoko,” I answered, stating the obvious.

“How about you? Are you alright, emotionally?”

I forced a big smile and a cheerful voice, “Of course!”

----> ° ๑⁠ ♡ ๑ ° <----

Once again, pagkatapos kong iparada ang sasakyan sa parking lot, hinayaan ko munang mauna ang dalawa na pumasok sa academy.

Naabutan kong maingay ang classroom pagkapasok ko, but they stopped when Madison's voice got their attention.

“Hi, Richard!”

She looked at my direction, and smiled.

I thought I can hide the pain I'm dealing with, but I guess I'm not a good pretender.

My heart aches to the point I cannot bring myself to smile or answer back.

Everyone knows, including myself, that this is something Madison will never do knowing I have feelings for her.

However, that is not the case anymore.

Unlike before, she can now look me in the eyes without hatred. Because right now, she knows I have no strength nor confidence to step over the line she drew between us, and she trust me to stay in my own boundary.

A friend, that's what I am to her now.

Just a friend.