Anonymous Admirer (BL)

22

RICHARD VAN HYDEN

"Have you thought about it?"

Lunes ng umaga, at halos kakarating lang namin sa classroom ay ito kaagad ang bungad sa akin ni Frederic.

He even switched seat with my seatmate to interrogate me.

"Yes, I have," sagot ko, at seryosong tumingin sa kanya.

He looked into my eyes, eager and hopeful for the answer he wants to hear.

"I don't like you in a romantic way. Kung hindi mo mababago ang tingin mo sa akin, let's end this friendship."

I know I'm being cold, but I can't reciprocate Frederic's feelings. It's true I value our friendship, but the dynamic between us will definitely changes because I am now aware of his feelings.

Magiging awkward lang kami kahit magkuwari kaming parang wala lang.

Ending this friendship is the only option for me.

"A-anong sabi mo?" His voice was trembling.

"I'm sorry," I looked away from him, "Bumalik ka na sa pwesto mo, magsisimula na ang klase."

“Rich, yan na ba talaga ang desisyon mo?”

Ang kulit naman neto.

“Yes.”

Hinayaan ko siyang tumayo at ni isang tingin sa direksyon niya ay hindi ko ginawa.

~ • ° • ~

"Hey, is Frederic alright?" biglang natanong ni August.

"Huh, bakit?"

"Anong bakit? Hindi siya pumasok sa mga morning classes natin kanina," nag-aalalang sagot ni August.

Totoong hindi ko napansin yun. Not that I don't care about him, but because my mind was also wandering.

Ni hindi ko maalala ang mga tinuro kanina.

I can't focus.

I thought rejecting that guy will finally make my mind and conscience at peace, pero parang hindi pa rin.

“Nakita namin si Frederic kanina sa may clinic, namumugto ang mga mata,” ani Cairo.

Parang hindi ko malunok itong burger na kinakain ko. He cried, and its because of me.

Its lunch time, at sumama ako kina August at Cairo mag-lunch sa rooftop.

Nasanay akong sumasama sa ibang tropa ko sa cafeteria kapag kasama ko lang si Frederic, pero dahil hindi maganda ang ugnayan namin ngayon ay wala akong ganang pumunta sa cafeteria.

“Nag-away ba kayo?” takang tanong ni August.

“Paano mo nasabi?”

“The situation seems deja vu,” sagot niya sa tanong ko, at napalingon kay Cairo. “Halatang umiiwas kayo sa isa't isa.”

“Frederic confessed his feelings,” I opened up to them.

“To Madison?” tanong ni Cairo.

“To me.”

“HUH?” Nahulog ang kutsarang hawak ni August, at muntikan pang mabulunan si Cairo.

“'O tapos, anong ginawa mo?” tanong ni August.

“I rejected him,” pag-amin ko.

“Baliw ka pala eh!” Cairo burst with anger. “Confessing takes a lot of risk and courage, at alam mo mismo ang pakiramdam ng ma-reject.”

I know what he meant. I already experienced heartbreaks multiple times because of Madison.

At sa tingin ko ay naiintindihan ko na ang nararamdaman ni Madison noong nililigawan ko siya.

I'm walking in her shoes right now, at parang ginaya ko lang din ang ginawa niya sa akin noon, rejecting someone's feelings because we can't reciprocate it.

But there's a difference between us, she's taken and I'm not. But I'm not sure what to do with Frederic.

I'm so confused.