The Secret Life of Mr. Kipling

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Author's pov:

Jessie and Natasha were comforting a crying Zuri as Emma came downstairs.

"What's wrong?" Emma asked.

"Millie the Mermaid died," Zuri answered.

Emma let out a sigh.

"Oh, I thought something horrible happened."

Jessie and Natasha glared at Emma while Zuri continued crying.

"Not that this isn't horrible. Because it is," the blonde corrected herself.

"She was accidentally stabbed by a swordfish," Jessie told Emma.

"It was no accident!" Zuri said as she stood up. "It was murder!"

"Now, Zuri, we don't know that," Natasha said.

"Yes we do! Chubby the Bear told me Millie owed money to Lenny the Loan Shark!"

"So something fishy was going on," Emma said before laughing, but she immediately stopped when she noticed Jessie and Natasha were glaring at her again.

"It doesn't matter how Millie passed on," Jessie said as she turned to Zuri. "The important thing is she's in a better place now."

"You really think so?" Zuri asked.

"Absolutely. She's selling seashells by that great seashore in the sky."

"And peacefully picking a peck of pickled peppers," Emma added.

"Pickled peppers were Millie's favorite!" Zuri wailed as Jessie hugged her.

"Emma, does it ever occur to you that some of the things you say shouldn't be said?" Natasha asked as Emma rolled her eyes and sighed. Bertram came into the living room with a watering can.

"Oh no! Feelings! Tears! Must hide!" he said as he hid his face and tried to run to the kitchen.

"Bertram!" Zuri said.

"Rats!" Bertram whispered.

"I'll need your help planning Millie's funeral," Zuri told him.

"Fine, I'll meet you at the toilet in five minutes," Bertram said bluntly as he tried to walk away.

"Excuse me? I am not flushing Millie!" Zuri yelled. "She should have a beautiful send-off."

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