Society Killed The Teenager

Chapter Ten/Awaiting Death Makes Me Feel Alive

My head pounds as I lift my head off of unfamiliar pillows.

Someone's hand is wrapped around my waist and I am completely naked. I can feel the man's naked body pressed against mine.

I unwrap his arms from my body and sneak off to go to the bathroom (which is easy to find, it's attached to his room).

I look in myself in the mirror and quickly cover myself up with a towel, wrapping it around my body and fixing my loose hair in a bun.

I tuck the towel and walk outside the bathroom and towards the unknown man that I obviously slept with.

"Hey babe."

The man that was in the bed is now standing...without his pants on...or underwear...or anything.

I squeal and shield my eyes, turning away and screaming at him to put some pants on.

"Okay, okay!" He says. "Okay, they're on."

I un-shield my eyes and see his 8 pack and v line as clear as day.

He steps towards me with his arms out, but I back away, clutching my towel even tighter than before.

I see the man sit down on the bed and rubs his chin and the back of his head, groaning and closing his eyes, reminding me of Hunter and making me cry.

"Hey." He says, getting up from the bed and coming over to me.

He sits down next to me and rubs my back.

"Can you tell me what happened last night?"

He stops rubbing my back and takes my hand, leading me to the bed and sitting me down, then sitting down next to me.

"You downed a whole bottle of tequila and when you were done, you told off this pretty young thing with big tits about stealing Hunter or someone like that and then you ran to the stage just as they were getting off and heading home and told the lead singer some things and pushed him around a bit. Some people had to come and take you off of him, but he didn't seem to say or do anything back to you. You came back to the bar and practically attacked me. We went back to my place and finished the job a couple times. And by a couple I mean ten."

I punch him in the shoulder and smile, wiping my tears and looking around for my clothes.

"Yeah, I kind of ripped your clothes off last night."

I get off the bed and pick up my shoes and my ripped clothes.

I'm about to go to the bathroom and try to salvage the clothes when I turn around to the bartender.

"Can I ask you something else about last night?"

He looks up at me and nods his head.

"Did the lead singer leave with anyone?"

He nods his head.

"Yeah, he left with the girl with the big tits. She was all over him, kissing him and trying to take off his pants. He was in to it though, kissing her neck and feeling her up. They barely made it to the car with clothes on."

I nod my head, and feel the tears start to form.

"Thanks." I say, feeling my voice become shaky.

"Are you okay?" He asks, starting to get up from the bed.

I nod my head and open the bathroom door stepping in and falling apart completely.

💀 💀 💀

When I got out of the bathroom, the bartender gave me his number in case I needed anything, but I knew I wouldn't.

Except...maybe I would.

I nod and my thanks and start walking out the door but the bartender grabs my butt and pinches.

I screech and smack him in the arm, smiling and kissing him on the cheek.

"Bye Bartender."

He laughs.

"My name's Adam. Adam Williamson."

💀 💀 💀

Getting home that day wasn't easy.

I had no idea where I was and I had no money to pay for a taxi so I kind of just wondered around trying to find someone to help me.

Finally, someone was kind enough to show me in the right direction and I was on my way.

I finally get to my house an hour later with sweat dripping down my breasts and my feet aching from wearing my wedges for such a long time.

I walk in to my house and quietly walk up the stairs and in to the bathroom were I immediately get out of my clothes and turn on the shower.

Once the water is warm enough, I hop in and lean my head back, letting the water hit my full on the face.

Water gets up my nose and I whip my head back up tears starting to form because of the pain forming in my nose.

But the pain continues.

Now my brain is starting to feel like it' on fire and my very skin feels like it's heating up and disintegrating.

I claw my temples trying to get rid of the pain.

I open my mouth to scream but I don't know if I am or not I can't hear myself.

I fall and start to claw my face, memories flooding back of Hunter and Alexis kissing and making out and being together.

I fill my lungs with more air and scream louder, this time hearing myself.

I claw my eyes and my skin and every part of my body.

I scream louder and louder with everything I had just screaming bloody murder like it was the only chance I would be rescued.

Suddenly the water stops pelting on my back and someone puts their hand on my back.

The pain disappears and my skin and head are no longer on fire.

I open my eyes and see Star standing there with a towel in her hand and a her forehead crinkled with seriousness.

"It's okay Bear." She grabs my hand and pulls me up from the shower handing me the towel and sitting on toilet, watching me, "we're here for you."

💀 💀 💀

The pain started coming back around midnight.

I got up and walked to the bathroom, opening the toilet seat, waiting for the vomit to come up but it never does.

Then my dad pops in to my head and I remember how I lost him.

Tyler.

Hunter.

Mom.

Tears fall on the face and I look at myself in the mirror.

What happened to me?

I open the cabinet door and grab some Advil, going back to my room and pacing, the bottle rattling in my hand.

Hunter holding hands with Alexis.

Hunter kissing Alexis.

Hunter loving Alexis.

I lost Hunter and he was the only thing keeping me sane and making me feel like I was worth something and now I am equal to a bag of trash that you see on the ground.

I open the pill bottle and tip my head back feeling the pills fill my mouth.

I swallow them with all my might, trying not to think of the pain of dry swallowing a whole bottle of Advil.

I get back in my bed and close my eyes, smiling slightly.

Awaiting death makes me feel alive.

(Adam Williamson pictured)