Her Love

Assurance and Comfort

Raghav's POV

A baby, huh? When the doctor had initially told us at home, I went numb. I didn't know what to feel. We weren't ready. Hell, we hadn't even had a discussion about a baby. But before I could say anything, I saw Jaanki panicking. I can't even imagine how she must've felt. The baby would grow inside her, her body would undergo so many changes, and I can only imagine how panicked she must've been. And so, I maintained my calm. She needed me to keep calm. "You're thinking about the baby?" Jaanki asked, joining me on the swing in the balcony of our room.

"And about you," I replied. "Are you actually okay? I know this is so unexpected," I added. "Why are you so understanding, Raghav?" she questioned, with a chuckle. "You keep asking if I'm fine, but are you fine? I know you weren't even prepared to get married yet and now I'm suddenly pregnant," she asked, with a concerned voice. I knew what she said was true. I wasn't ready. "Honestly, I'm not ready Jaanki. I just started being comfortable with being married," I said truthfully. "I understand," she said looking down. I knew she understood me. That's what she's been doing since we got married. Sometimes I can't believe how understanding and accepting she is. I somewhere felt like she was so accepting because she had no expectations from anyone. I always felt like she was scared of being disappointed. Can one blame her for it though? She's only faced disappointment since she was a little girl.

But I wanted her to have expectations of me, at least. I want her to not understand me, in this matter at least. "Listen to me fully, Jaanki. It's true that I'm not prepared, but that baby is as mine as it's yours. It's ours. It's our blood. I know even you weren't ready. Both of us will work together. We'll take care of our baby, and we'll learn how to parent together," I said, looking at her. "I know, Raghav. I know the kind of man you are. You've been the best husband to me even though you weren't ready for this marriage. If you can be so good to me, then I can only imagine how good of a father you'll be to your baby," she said taking my hand in hers.

"I'm nothing like her, am I?" she asked, looking down at our intertwined hands. "Like who?" I questioned, "Gayatri Ranawat, I'm nothing like her right?" she replied. Gayatri was the woman I was in love with. She was my college mate. I wanted to marry her. I was head over heels for her. But she didn't feel the same. She got married to someone else. I was a little stunned by her question. From where was this question coming? I replied nonetheless, "No, you're very different," I said, trying to gauge where she was taking this. We hadn't really spoken about her much, other than when I had confessed about it to her the day of our wedding.

"I've heard from a lot of people about her. I've heard she's a very bubbly and bright woman, very kind and positive as well. Very different from my more serious and dull personality," she completed. Now I could see where this was going. "Yes, she was a very happy and positive woman. Filled the room with her smile. She had a way to light up the atmosphere," I said, remembering Gayatri. It had been a while since I had thought of her. Jaanki looked at me with a soft smile. "It is true, you are very different from her. You are mature, understanding and so giving. You fill the room with comfort and confidence. You give me peace," I confessed. Her smile widened.

"I loved her Jaanki. I can't unlove her. But I'm happy with where my life is now. I have a very understanding wife. I don't know if anyone else could give me as much love and understanding, knowing their feeling might not be reciprocated ever. And I'm about to have a baby with such a caring woman. So don't let my past put you down," I said, clutching her hands tighter.

Jaanki's POV

I just fell in love with him all over again. I knew he loved her. I don't expect him to forget her. That's just immature. But for some reason, I couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, he wanted a family with someone like her. And look at the way he deals with it. He doesn't get angry or irritated. He had all the right to get angry at me. Despite the confidence he gave me every day, I was questioning him. anyone would get annoyed at that. But he wasn't just anyone, was he? He was Raghav. He calmly reminded me of my strengths. I might not be positive and bubbly, but my confidence and maturity were what got me through life, and they would continue to do so. "But when do you think this happened?" he asked, placing his palm on my stomach. His question was valid though. We did use protection almost every time. And then I recollected what happened 3 months ago. I went all red. "I think it was when we went to Delhi to meet the PM," I said, unable to meet his eyes.