Her Love

The Trauma

Raghav's POV

I was shocked when Jaanki called me, informing me about Gayatri's arrival. I wasn't expecting her at all. It had been almost 2 years since I had last spoken to her. I reached home to find Gayatri in the meeting hall with my wife and siblings. She looked so different. This wasn't the Gayatri I knew. Her eyes had lost their sparkle and the glint of mischief that always adorned her face was missing. My mind went blank after listening to her speak about her husband. Should I even call him a husband? Janaki looked terrified and called the doctor immediately. I was so thankful for her at the moment. She was handling everything knowing very well I was numb.

The doctor asked us to take care of her, mentally more so. I didn't know how to react. I thought Gayatri was happy. She had gotten married out of love. Karan was her whole world. She loved him. I couldn't understand how you could hurt someone you love. And when she said she lost her baby, I shivered to even imagine how that felt. I was going to have a child of my own and I couldn't even imagine what I'd do if something were to ever happen. "She slept," Jaanki informed me, sitting beside me. I just looked at her, only to find her eyes filled with concern. "Will she be fine?" I asked. "We'll try, Raghav," she said, assuring me. I hummed. "You need to take your medicine, you haven't had food," I said, getting up. "I can take care of myself, Raghav. You need to sort your thoughts out first. Go to the room, I'll have my food and come," she stated, pushing me towards the stairs.

I knew she was right. I was in no state to take care of her right now. So, I left for the room. I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall. How do you deal with the fact that someone you loved so immensely has gone through something so horrific? Gayatri was such a nice woman. How could someone hurt her? I couldn't even begin to imagine how broken she must be. Someone she trusted so immensely had hurt her so badly. I could feel my eyes well up even thinking about what she had to endure. I heard the room door open. Jaanki sat down beside me with her hand on my shoulder. "I can't even comprehend how you must be feeling, Raghav," she started, "All I can say is that I am with you. We'll take care of everything together," she said, assuring me.

I couldn't hold it anymore. I hugged her, hiding my pain in her arms. She held me back. She didn't ask a single question. We stayed like that for a while. All this while, she just stayed quiet, rubbing my back and giving me much-needed support. I broke apart the hug, questioning, "Medicine?" "I took it," she said. I placed a kiss on her belly, which was still flat. "Let's sleep?" she suggested and I nodded. I couldn't get a wink of sleep that night. I woke up the next morning to find the bed empty. I had overslept. I always woke up before Jaanki. I saw Jaanki walk in after her workout. "She woke up. I think you should talk to her she doesn't look too well," Jaanki said. I just hummed, not knowing what to say to Gayatri.

I knocked on Gayatri's room after getting dressed. She opened the door after a moment. She looked tired. Her eyes were covered with dark circles. I just stood looking at her. "Raghav?" she called out. "Should we move to the garden?" I asked while she slowly nodded. We slowly made our way to the garden not knowing where to start. Once we reached the pavilion in the garden, I asked the staff to leave. "When did it start?" I asked, warily. "It was all good when we were dating. He was so good to me. Always kind and loving," she said, looking ahead as tears filled her eyes. I said nothing, giving her the space to share. "You know, I fought so much with my parents to get married to him. They didn't want me to marry him. He had a few criminal allegations against him. They were scared. I convinced them saying they were false allegations and that he had been framed. Well, that's what he had told me. And look they were right," she said with a chuckle. I could feel the pain in her voice.

"We got married and everything was fine for the first 6 months. It was heaven. It was everything I ever wanted. And then it wasn't. I got a message on my phone with pictures of Karan with other women. I refused to believe at first. I trusted him blindly. But slowly, he stopped trying to hide it. I could listen to him talk to those women on call. And one day I confronted him. And that's when it started. He hit me for the first time that day. I was shocked. I couldn't get myself to say anything. I just stopped talking. And the next day he came to me apologizing. He went on his knees, begging me to forgive him, and said he would never do it again. And I was stupid. I forgave him. And then it happened again. He apologized again and I forgave again. It just kept repeating, until he didn't want to apologize anymore. He had realized I didn't have it in me to leave him. And you know what? He was right. I didn't have it me. I kept thinking he would change. He loved me after all, right?"

"But he just became more reckless after that. He got one of the women home, into our bedroom, when I wasn't home. It made me feel so disgusting and cheap. But I still didn't have the courage," she said, choking up. I held her shoulder, giving her my silent support. My own eyes had welled up listening to her speak. How could anyone behave like this with anyone, let alone their wife? She continued, gathering herself, "The beating continued. He would beat me if I questioned him, if I shared anything with anyone, if I spoke to anyone, hell, he even hit me if he was angry at someone else. He isolated me from everyone, my friends, my parents, everyone. And then, I found out I was pregnant. I was numb. I didn't want a child to grow up with that monster. So I decided to leave. When he found out, he hit me again. He knew I was pregnant," she said, her voice breaking. "How can someone hurt their own child, Raghav? He hit me so bad that day, I ended up losing my child. I had enough after that. I couldn't stay with the murderer of my child. He had no remorse whatsoever. I hated myself for not being able to do anything. I didn't want my child to hate me as well for staying with his/her murderer," she completed, sobbing.

I held her trying to console her. I didn't know what to say. I had no words. All I could feel was sadness and anger. Sadness for her, for all that she had to endure. And anger towards her husband. Maybe I was even upset with her for letting this happen to her. I didn't say anything at the moment though. I knew she needed time. She calmed down after a while. I didn't know what to say. I knew I could say nothing to comfort her and so, I didn't say anything regarding what she had just shared. "We should head in for breakfast," I said, making her stand up, trying to divert the topic. "No Raghav, I'm not hungry," she tried to protest. "You need to eat Gayatri. Look at yourself, you have become so weak," I said. She shook her head. "Gayatri I suggest you listen to me. If Jaanki gets to know, she won't be as polite as me," I said, trying to cheer her up. She chuckled and gave up, accepting defeat. I was relieved to see her smile.

I saw Jaanki sitting at the dining table with Arjun and Sakshi. She looked at me worried, seeing Gayatri's swollen eyes. I nodded in assurance and Gayatri and I joined them at the table. Jaanki was dressed in formals. "Are you going to work today?" I questioned, she wasn't supposed to go today. "Yes, today we have to finalize the designs for Poshak's wedding collection," she said, looking at her phone. I snatched her phone. "No phone at the table, Jaanki," I warned, and she looked at me, annoyed, pouting. Her pout was so cute. Pregnancy was making her so expressive and I was loving it. Otherwise, she was very good at masking her emotions. Before I could continue admiring my wife's cuteness, I saw Gayatri hardly eating. I started coaxing her into eating. She needed to eat.

"I'm leaving," Jaanki said, collecting her things. "Did you guys decide the venue?" I asked. "We thought we could postpone the wedding, given the current circumstances," Arjun said, concerned. "No, please, don't postpone your wedding because of me, Arjun," Gayatri said, hurriedly. "No, Di, it's alright Aashi and Viraj Bhai would understand," Arjun added, trying to assure her. "No, please, Arjun. It would make me feel guilty. And a wedding would be a good atmosphere for me as well. It would distract me," Gayatri insisted. Arjun looked at me and I nodded. "Okay, di if you wish so," Arjun said before leaving with Sakshi. "Please feel free to use anything you want. And I request you to not stay in your room all day," Jaanki said, looking at Gayatri before moving towards the door. I followed her.

"Thank you, Jaanki," I said, holding her hand and stopping her. She turned around and gave me a smile. "No, Jaanki, I know it's not the most comfortable situation for you," I said. I couldn't imagine how it would feel if you had to see someone your husband loved at some point in front of you, talking to your husband. "It's alright, Raghav. I understand," she said leaving. She did give me a smile. But it didn't reach her eyes.