Her Love

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Jaanki's POV

Looking at Raghav talk to Gayatri with such ease made me burn with jealousy. I don't know if I should blame my pregnancy hormones, but a wave of possessiveness washed over me. There are very few things I consider my own, and Raghav was mine. I wasn't the kind of woman who would let her husband go for someone he loves. I didn't love him selflessly. I was selfish. I wanted him all for myself, and I'd make sure of it. So, I showed all of my possessiveness. I seldom got so bold with him, and I could tell that he liked it. As I was alone in the room, brushing my hair, the realization hit me.

Realization that Raghav would never be with me like he was with Gayatri. I knew I shouldn't compare, but I couldn't help it. He was so at ease with her, but with me, he was more reserved. He did tease me occasionally, but with her he was so free. I wanted him to be free with me as well. I couldn't bring out in him what she did. "Bhabhi, neeche chalo na, the jeweler is here." Aashi had come home so that we could decide on the wedding ornaments. I looked at her and nodded, grabbing my dupatta and making my way downstairs. The jeweler had laid out a vast array of pieces. Sakshi was already seated with Arjun, and they were bickering like always. "Tu jo bhi khareed, dikhegi to bandari hi." Arjun was at it as usual. Sakshi ignored it like she always did. These twins were just too hilarious.

"Bhabhi, come down." "Whatever you buy, you're going to look like a monkey only."

Aashi was trying on different pieces and showing them to Arjun while he expressed his opinion through his poker face, which she somehow understood. They look so adorable in moments like these. Sakshi was forcing me to try on some myself while I was denying it. "Mere paas already itne hai, Sakshi. I don't want any more." "Aise kaise, you have to buy. Lelo na bhabhi." She was trying her best to convince me while I wasn't budging. "Arey Gayatri di, you also join us." Sakshi saw Gayatri walking towards the kitchen and invited her. She sat down and joined Sakshi in her mission to get me to buy something. After a while, I started ignoring them, and they stopped, but not before whining.

"I already have so many of them." "Not done. Get some, bhabhi." 

"Mooh phulake kyu baithe ho?" Raghav asked Sakshi, walking in before sitting beside me. "Bhabhi is not buying anything. I tried my best to convince her, but woh maan hi nhi rahi hai." Raghav looked at me, seeing Sakshi complain. "Raghav, you know I have so many pieces already. Even if I wore a different one every day of the year, it would take at least 3 years to go through them once." "So what? Buy one more. I know for a fact that you have not bought a single one of them. All of them have been handed down to you," Raghav said matter of factly. All of them just stared at me with googly eyes, and I gave up. I started looking at the ornaments, trying to decide on something. I looked at Raghav, giving up. He shook his head with a small smile, digging through the jewelry.

"Why are you sulking?" "She's not listening."

He picked a very beautiful set studded with huge diamonds, rubies, and emeralds. It had a choker, long chain, earrings, and a matha patti. It was just breathtaking and very different from the 1000-something pieces I already owned. He forwarded it to me, gesturing for me to try it on. I was so excited. I always thought he wasn't very interested in my clothes or jewelry. But I guess not. He was so interested in buying me this set. He was actually sitting down with us. He never really got into shopping that anyone at home did. I tried the chocker on and turned to him. I could tell from the look on his face that he liked it. He kept staring at me even after I turned around, and I raised my eyebrows at him. "Bhabhi ko nazar app hi laga doge kya bhai?" Arjun teased. Raghav glared at him. "We'll take this Mishra ji," Raghav said and paid for the set.

"You'll only put nazar on bhabhi, bhai."

"I can pay Raghav," I tried to protest. "I know you can, but can't I buy something for my wife?" I accepted defeat and nodded. Raghav left for work, which he was delaying so that he could pick out jewelry for me. "Quite a romantic husband you've got there," Gayatri exclaimed, making me blush. I looked at her, feeling bad for being jealous of her. But I suppose, I wasn't jealous of her but rather her bond with my husband. "How are you feeling today?" I enquired. "Better, I suppose. The environment in the house does get your mind off things." Her physical wounds had healed, but the emotional ones were still showing. I wanted to talk to her now that we were alone after everyone else had left. "I don't know if it's my place to say this, but I think you should go to therapy, Gayatri."

"You have all rights to suggest this to me, Jaanki. You have been nothing but supportive and sweet but I'm not sure if I'm prepared to talk about this to anyone. And if I did want to do that; I would first tell my parents about it." She was looking down at her hands, playing with her fingers. "Of course, take your time, but please go whenever you feel like it. You need it. But wouldn't Karan have already said something to your parents?" My doubts were valid since that man had the audacity to walk into the palace of Madhavgarh and try to challenge the Maharaj of Madhavgarh. "I don't think so. My parents have zero contact with him. They knew the kind of person he was without spending a moment with him but look at me. How could I be so stupid? I spent so much time with him, and I thought I knew him. But I guess not."

"It's not your fault, Gayatri. You loved the version of him that he showed you. And love is based on trust. There's nothing wrong with you trusting him. It was his choice to break that trust and disrespect your love. You just acted according to what was shown and given to you." She looked at me with a slight smile. "You know how lucky Raghav is to have someone like you? Someone so compassionate and kind." I looked at her, a little taken aback. "What? You do know you are kind and so so good," she added, making me shake my head with slight laughter. "I wasn't expecting you to praise me when we are talking about what an amazing person you are." "Yeah, sure," she said, almost derogatorily.

I turned myself towards her. "You need to believe in yourself, Gayatri. You reacted to the situations put in front of you. Anyone in love would behave like that. Please don't blame yourself." "I try, Jaanki. But I just can't forgive myself for letting him kill my baby. My child. He had no right to do that. You know, when I look at you and Raghav talking about your child, when I see him caress your stomach and take care of you, and when I see you both look at sonograms together, I feel so jealous and guilty. I'm very happy for the both of you, but I wonder, if I had taken a stand for myself earlier, maybe my child would be alive today."

Silent tears were flowing out of her eyes. I didn't know how to console her. I couldn't even imagine what that would feel like. It sent shivers down my spine to even imagine. "Gayatri, anything I can ever say would never make you feel better about losing your child. But you have a task at hand. You need to punish your baby's murderer. And for that, you need to be of sound mind. You need to be strong enough not to break in your fight. Because believe me, it's not going to be easy." She nodded, looking at me. I handed her a glass of water. "Raghav is truly very fortunate," she reiterated. I smiled, looking at her.