Her Love

Guilt and Hurt

Jaanki's POV

I sat on the bed with a thud as soon as he left the room. What have I done? I got so consumed by my illogical anger that I hurt the person who was my whole world. I spoke out of spite, and now here I am, all alone. Maybe this is why I've been alone all my life. I couldn't control my anger and ruined everything. He didn't deserve this. Whatever he said was true. He always made me feel important, and here I was. The only thing I did was hurt him. I don't know how long I sat there with tears pouring out of my eyes when I heard the door open. I wiped my eyes swiftly and looked up.

It was Raghav. My heart started beating fast. I wanted to talk to him. I had to apologize. But I didn't have the courage. He walked towards the closet and started packing his bags. Generally, I would help him, and we would talk and tease each other. But today wasn't like that, and I was the reason why. Before I could muster the courage, I saw Raghav walking out with his bag, making me stand up. I followed him downstairs. He knew I was behind him, but he didn't pay any attention to me. I deserved that. He bid farewell to everyone at home, excluding me. "Bhabhi ka khyal rakhna. Make sure she takes her medicine on time," Raghav instructed Arjun and Sakshi. I didn't deserve his kindness.

"Take care of Bhabhi."

He walked out towards the door, and I ran behind him. I held onto the edge of his blazer, not knowing what to say. He turned around and looked at me but didn't say anything. I knew I had to talk first. I have to apologize, but I didn't know how. He pulled his blazer out of my hold and left, making my cheeks wet. I looked at his car leave the main gate, blurry-eyed, before running to my room to have my second breakdown. I knew I had to apologize. I couldn't bear this for 2 months, especially when we have never been apart this long. I would do that as soon as his flight lands in Italy. But first, I called my secretary to get a brief for everything that had to be done in the next 2 months now that Raghav wasn't here to handle everything.

Raghav's POV

I was in the garden, enjoying the breeze, when I got a call. I answered, and it was the manager of the Italian branch of our technology business. He seemed rushed. He informed me that there were some complications with the deal we were about to strike with the government there and that they needed me. I didn't want to leave Jaanki and go, but I knew I needed to, and so I agreed. I turned around to go and inform Jaanki about the same when I saw Gayatri standing behind me. "I just came out to sit in the open air," she informed, and I nodded. "You are going somewhere?" "Yes, I'll have to go to Italy for 2 months. The company there needs me." "But Jaanki needs you now. You can't leave her alone and go," she said.  "I know, but this is important. Otherwise, I would have never gone."

She smirked and said, "You love her a lot, right?" I was stunned. I cared for Jaanki, I respected her, hell, I even found her very attractive, but love? I wasn't sure about that. "Shut up." I left after saying that. I walked into our room only to find it empty. I decided to call my secretary to arrange a flight while I waited for Jaanki. Just as I was done with the call, she walked in. I was startled by her tone. She was a very calm woman. I never heard her yell at anyone, and today, she was yelling at me, looking all pissed. I tried to hold her, only for her to push me away. I wasn't able to reason with her, and that angered me. Her accusations were the last straw.

I never made her feel secondary; I always respected and understood her, and this is what I get in return? It enraged me. More than anger, I felt hurt. I thought we knew each other better. I left the room, hurt, to gather my emotions. I could not understand why she reacted like that. We were fine this morning. About Gayatri and I, Jaanki knew I liked her. But that was in the past. I was so sure of it because I never felt anything more than friendship for Gayatri after she came here. No love, no attraction, no desire, nothing. Just pure friendship. But she misunderstood that or rather doubted me when I gave her no reason to. It hurt me a lot. I didn't want to say anything I would regret, and so I left the room. My secretary called to inform me that my flight had been arranged for after 2 hours. I gathered myself and left for my room to pack.

Jaanki stood up as soon as I walked into the room. I was in no mood to talk to her right now, so I ignored her and walked to the closet to pack my clothes. I could feel her eyes on me, but I chose to ignore them. I pulled my bags with me, walking out of the room to leave. I knew she was following me. I bid farewell to everyone and instructed Arjun and Sakshi to take care of Jaanki. Yes, I was angry and very upset with her, but I did care for her. And she was pregnant; she needed care. I left for the car with Jaanki following me. She just stood behind me, not uttering a word. I could see the guilt in her eyes, but I was too hurt to try to understand her. Just as I was about to walk to the car, I felt a tug on my blazer. I knew it was her. She wasn't saying anything. This time I wanted her talk first. I waited for a moment, and she stayed quiet. I pulled my blazer out of her hold and left.

I could see her face from the rear mirror. Her eyes were tearing up, and I didn't like that. I saw her gaze follow the car as we left the palace. I didn't like how I was leaving. It's not like we ever had disagreements, but it never got here. How could she even think she was just some responsibility? I always tried my best to make her feel more than that. I even tried my best to talk to her about Gayatri and if she was comfortable with her. I don't think she dislikes Gayatri, but is she insecure? But why? Anyway, I hated the feeling of fighting with her. I never realized when she became my peace. Just talking to her brought me peace. She had that in her, but today, all I could feel were these raging emotions. Our relationship was built on understanding and acceptance, and that's what brought me comfort. But today, I didn't understand her. Her words hurt me. I never knew Jaanki could talk like that.

The driver interrupted my thoughts, saying, "Weare here, Maharaj." I nodded and got on to the royal plane. Throughout theflight, all I could think about was Jaanki. That surprised me. I never realizedhow important talking to her was for me. The effect she had on me and thecontrol she had on my emotions was astounding. She was always important, butwhen did she become so impactful?