Mona

20. Sex To Soothe the Broken?

"It, of course like everything else in my life, was complicated."
~Mona

"Damn baby you okay?" Anthony sat beside on the floor of the restroom, as I puked my heart out.

"I don't know babe, I think it was the..." I was cut off by me regurgitating once more. I hated throwing up, I don't see how people are bulimic and shit. When I throw up I get that shit all over, it even comes out of my nose! So I say again why in the fuck possesses people to do this shit!

"Aww ma, you sure you okay," Anthony choked.

"Anthony get out before you throw up on me," I hoarsly shouted. I knew my baby already had a weak stomach, and him throwing up on me would not help this situation.

Lucky me, I got this shit all over my all white jumpsuit; not to mention the fact that I'm sitting on the bathroom floor. He's so gonna give me a massage after this.

I sat staring blankly at the walls, I flushed the toilet being ever so thankful that I'd finished my business. I than stripped out of my jumpsuit, MK watch, and wedges. I swear I looked so good today, and it was all fucked up by me regurgitating all over it, literally! Mari and I even matched because we all went to church and had lunch afterwards.

In a rush to get out of the disgusting now clothing I'd forgotten to get me some more. I braced myself, I had to ask Anthony; hopefully he wouldn't try to join in, I swear this nigga is so nasty.

"Anthony," I called out. "Wassup babe, you feelin' betta' na ma?" He stood in front of the door trying to look in. "I'm fine Ant, just go and get me some clothes," I coughed him away.

"Ight damn just don't cough that shit in my face," he backed away, down the hallway. I listened as he shuffled around my room getting my things, I heard his heavy footsteps trail to the restroom.

"Here you go," he held my clothes in the air. "Thank you ba.-"

"Nope, it so fast," he pulled back my stuff. "What do y want? And no you not getting in with me!" I inadvertently smiled, although I was trying to be mean.

"I thought you was gonna say that," he paused smiling. "Show me a titty," he grinned.

"No Anthony now give me my clothes!" I demanded. "No titty, no kitty, equals no clothes." He was having so much fun taunting me, I deeply sighed.

"No I'm not.-"

"Come on baby, pleaseeee," he pouted. I swear this nigga will stand here all day, there is no shame in his game. I pulled the door back just a little bit revealing my left breast, he gave me a huge grin.

"Now was that so hard," he smiled. I playfully pouted snatching my clothes away from him. I took a shower quickly while brushing my teeth, then lotioning up with my two lotions and exiting the restroom.

"Hello," I called out walking downstairs. I'd forgotten that no one was here, it was only me and Anthony. I pulled my wet and curly hair into a messy bun, walking back upstairs.

I made my way to his bedroom opening the door before knocking. Big mistake. I opened the door to see him stroking himself.

"Oh shit I'm sorry," I quickly closed the door closing it behind me. I stood in front of the door in shock, embarrassment, and disbelief at my disrespectfulness; but then again he was my boyfriend. I should be elated to have sex, and do things like this, right?

"Mona," he opened the door smiling, as if this shit was funny. "I'm sorry I just.-" I really tired of him cutting me off, but this time he did it with a kiss.

This kiss was different from all of the other ones, it was deep and passionate. It was as if he was trying to truly connect with me on a different level.

His hands roamed around my my body, and before I could object we were both on his bed. He stripped of his shirt, and quickly removing mine to leave me out since I wasn't wearing a bra. I held my hands against my chest, for some reason ashamed of what he saw.

"What's wrong Mona," he whispered into my ear. "Nothing I... I just, I'm kinda afraid," I admitted. "Mona, babygirl you ain't got shit to be afraid of, you mine baby and I'm yours. That's all that matters, but if you don't want to then I understand baby," he stared into my eyes.

"Okay," I pulled away. He sighed deeply, laying at the top of his bed. "Come here Mona," I slipped on my shirt, going to lay beside him.

"I'm sorry for pushing you babygirl, you now I wouldn't ever hurt you right," I nodded. I was lost for words, I wanted to have sex with Anthony but then again I really didn't. It, of course like everything else in my life, was complicated.

||

"So you turned down Anthony, I'm sorry girl I was a whole Coke Whore and I wouldn't be that crazy," even though Kihya had changed she'd still been the same. Thankfully my best friend was finally able to leave that rich people rehab, and her parents didn't make her go back to private school. She was only in public school because she begged her parents to let her be normal, but if I was her I'd stay there. Me and Kihya met in private school and the only reason that I wasn't there was because the people there kept asking about my scars and shit from Eduardo, so he took us out.

"I want to have sex with him because maybe that will help me forget about Cali, but then again I don't because I... I just don't know," I drank some of my coffee. We sat in the cafeteria waiting for first period bell to ring.

"Well Mona you know that Zikihya is here throughout whatever and I will always give you advice. But if you and Anthony was what was happening first then stick with him, maybe you'll grow to love him like they do in them arranged marriages," she joked. "But then again, it's obvious that your heart is with Cali. What are you going to do when you slip up and cheat on Anthony with Cali. I know you don't want to hurt Anthony and you care for Cali, but Mona as the saying goes. You can't have your cake and eat it too."

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~XO504QVEEN©