Boris: Sunday, August 7th

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I am standing outside the Stu Theatre. I wasn't planning on coming, in fact I tied myself to my car so that I wouldn't come. But then, I realized it wasn't my car, and I had tied myself to someone else's car who lives on campus, and I also have the red shoes. Whoops.

I'm standing here shaking, nervous. I feel a hand on the small of my back. It starts pushing me towards the door. I turn to see a grubby, tall freak pushing me to the door.

"Adjunct Advisor/Janitor Boris" he says. "I've been waiting so long to meet you. I'm an admirer of your work" he says.

"What work" I ask?

"Why your improv, of course" He grins.

I stare at him and blink. Surely he doesn't mean he knows who I am.

"I've been a fan of yours since Cactus Rats. I loved you in 4 corners that one night"

He knows.

"How do you know about that night?"

He pauses, as he opens the door to the theater. Laughter floods the room. Jack and Emma are currently in the middle of Questions from a hat.

"Do I not look familiar, Boris?"

I look at him again, and I see nothing. He sighs, and takes off his glasses.

I gasp. It can't be.

"GARY!"

"Shh. Keep it down. You'll ruin my plan."

"What plan, Gary? Leave these kids alone."

"These kids were my second chance, Boris. I was going to be an improv star at Carthage College. But they kicked me out. And now that chance is gone. This was supposed to be my time"

Gary is now gliding me to the stage. I'm trying to resist as much as possible, but he's strong. Too strong.

I'm at the steps, and Jack freezes as he stares at me.

"Boris, what are you doing here? I told you not to come"

Panic is filling my lungs as Gary is pushing me on to the stage"

"Who are you?" Emma asks him.

Gary sighs, and puts his glasses back on.

"RONNIE!" Emma and Jack shriek.

"It's time for you to learn a lesson" growls Gary/Ronnie. He pulls out a vial, and chugs it. Muscles start popping out of his t-shirt, and he's growing taller. The lights start to flicker, and the floor shakes.

"I've concocted a brew that makes me the strongest and wittiest man alive. I challenge you to a duel of the improv. Boris and MP" he yells.

I'm shaking, and somehow I've been planted on stage. The audience has been tied down with twizzlers (odd choice, you can eat those) and screams fill the auditorium.

"What happens if we don't accept your challenge?" says Payton

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"What happens if we don't accept your challenge?" says Payton.

"Then you all get charged full tuition" says Gary/Ronnie. He pulls out a monkey. Steve. My monkey. Steve grows into a gorilla and his robot talking box says to the audience "Can I get an activity you bitches"

Fuck.

I prov. 

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