Better Kept Secret

chapter 19

I wake up to the sounds of birds chirping and find myself curled into Ben's chest. The sunlight is shining through my window onto the bed, bathing us in warmth. I sit up and look down at him, watching the rise of fall of his chest in a ray of light. This morning is beautiful and it feels too good to be true.

He stirs beside me and slowly blinks open his eyes.

"Good morning," I whisper. He rubs at his eyes and stretches.

"What time is it?" He says, his morning voice deep and rough. I yawn while checking the time on my phone

"Only nine. We didn't really sleep in." I hear rustling coming from outside my room and remember that my mom could be awake, even though she hasn't gotten out of bed in a week. The plan was to have Ben and her not run into each other, so I have to go check on her. "I'm just going to go see if my mom's awake. Stay here. I'm serious. Don't go to the kitchen without me." He holds up his arms in a, 'I surrender' way.

Quickly, I walk to her room to see if she's in it. I don't knock because there's no point, she probably wouldn't respond. She's in bed, not asleep but staring at the ceiling. I open my mouth to say good morning, but then decide I don't want to start anything. When I get back to my room Ben is sitting up on the edge of the bed. The sun is illuminating his beautiful golden hair like a halo and my breath catches in my throat. I blush and look downwards to avoid his gaze.

My hands root through my drawers quickly to find something clean to wear and I end up sitting on my knees looking through my bottom drawer. I feel like a small child, sitting on the floor rooting through my messy room while he sits tall over me watching. I still feel his eyes on me and my spine tingles at the feeling. Slowly, I look up and catch his soft gaze watching my form. His mouth lifts into a grin as we watch each other and I feel the same tension I felt yesterday in the bathroom.

My mind flashes to last night, his eyes on my me, our faces inches apart, and I wish for a second that I was braver. That I wasn't such a coward and I could have just reached forward and taken what I wanted. Stolen a kiss from his plush lips. I blush even harder thinking about how he's looking at me so innocently and has no idea what I'm thinking about.

Ben's lips slowly curve up into a smile and he says, "You're so cute." I swear my heart stops beating for a second.

"W-what?" I try to read his expression for something deeper but all I see is amusement.

"You're surrounded by clothes and you still can't find anything to wear?" He laughs and I look down at the giant mess of clothes I've made.

"You're staying in my house for free! No judging!" He laughs and I chase him into the kitchen. "Now make us breakfast," I say softly.

"Okay," I'm surprised when he gets to work, taking eggs from the fridge and Eggos from the freezer to make us a breakfast. He makes some for my mom too and I'm taken aback once again, this time at how kind he is. But I've always known he's a sweetheart. A big softie.

Once he's done making our breakfast, we go back to my bedroom to eat. He sits at the edge of my bed, holding himself up with one arm, while I rest against my headboard.

"We should go back to the beach." He says, surprising me. Why would he want to go back after the mess of last night?

"I don't know... Why?"

"We didn't get to really hang out last night. We didn't get to just enjoy ourselves. Just swim without those idiots surrounding us."

"What idiots? The ones from your soccer team?" I say with a laugh. His lips quirk up into a smile, but he tries to hide by swatting at my leg making me yelp.