My head hurts a little from last night but not too bad. At 1 o'clock I grab an Advil from washroom, quickly taking it with some water. There's a phone charger, pajamas, and clothes for tomorrow in the tote bag I'm bringing to Ben's house. Great. I have everything I need. I have to be there in time for dinner so I can have some of his mom's spaghetti for the first time in forever. I could even bring some leftovers home for mom. Bag in hand, I head to my mom's room to say goodbye but when I peak my head through her door, she's not there.
"Mom!" I call looking around worriedly.
"I'm here," I hear her say from the kitchen. I swear my heart stops beating for a second.
"You're out of bed. Good, I'm so happy. Did you want me to get anything for you?" She takes a few deep breaths in, still looking exhausted even though she's been in her room for the past week.
"I'm fine honey." There's a pause. "Our house is such a mess."
"I can clean right now," I say to her cheerfully, I want to do anything to get her out of her slump. She always likes a clean home. Well, at least she used to.
"No. I want to help you clean. You don't have to do everything." Her eyes look a little glossy like maybe she's close to tears or her eyes are just glassing over.
"Let's do it together then." I pick up some dishes from the counter, carrying them to the sink.
"No," she crys. "No. Not today. I can't today. Maybe tomorrow." She carries herself over to the couch and I can tell it's taking all of her energy, every last bit of her to be doing this right now.
"I was going to go to Ben's tonight but if you me to stay I can."
"No. Go. I want you to have fun."
"I'd have fun with you too, mom."
"Just go. Please." I usually want her to get out of bed, but for some reason this whole interaction has just made me more worried about her. I accept her response and say goodbye, feeling a pang of guilt that I didn't just stay. But I was looking forward to
this too and she wanted me to go, I keep telling myself. There's no reason to feel guilty.
The walk over isn't that long, but near the end my legs hurt a bit. I should've just asked him to give me a ride. I stop in front of his house, staring at it in all its glory for about the millionth time in my life. I knock and hear the rustle inside.
"Hi sweetheart," his mom says after opening the door. She pulls me into a hug, as she does every time I see her and I love it. "Come on in, there's dinner waiting for you, but we already ate." It smells delicious. The scent of the tomato sauce wafts throughout the house, calling me towards it.
"Winnie. Come get some dinner," Ben says from the kitchen. He's wearing sweats and he looks like he just got up, which maybe he did. "Avery is having a sleepover with her friends from gymnastics," he says while plating our food. "There's like four of them down there but it sounds like there's a thousand. Watch out for the red head. She's insane." I laugh and just as he says that a group of eight year old girls run through the kitchen screaming.
"Ahahhahah!!" The red head yells while laughing and chasing Avery. I feel a gust of wind as they run past us and knock over papers on the table.
We both turn to look at each other with wide eyes. "How are they already that hyper?"
"Sugar." We carry out dinner to the table.
"Hey, so where do I have to sleep then? Wait, do I have to sleep with those little psychos?" He laughs but I'm fully serious. I can barely handle one Avery, let alone four of her.
"You can just sleep in my room." I hold my tongue because I know if I speak I'll stutter. There's no reason to feel weird, we've slept in the same bed before but somehow this is different. Maybe it's because I've been thinking of him in I guess a romantic way. I'm so embarrassed. I shouldn't be thinking of this, but lately he's mostly all that I think about.
Avery and her friends come running through the dining room again, but she stops to talk to me.
"Hi Elowyn!" She says while hugging me tightly.
"Avery! You look so cute," I say while touching the braid in her hair. "You guys are really hyper."
She laughs and jumps up and down. "Do you want to play tag with us?"
"She can't. She hasn't even had dinner yet," Ben says while taking her back to her friends. I smile at watching how he interacts with his younger sister. How precious.
We eat dinner quickly, wanting to go outside to kick around a soccer ball. I'm definitely not an athlete but he goes easy on me, so I race him outside.
"Be the goalie!" I shout at him while pointing to the fence. The sun is out, it's getting dimmer but there's still daylight. I look directly at my target: behind Ben. I plant my feet right where they need to be and drive my legs backwards to hit the ball as hard as I can. It goes soaring through the air and hits him right in his face. So I guess he blocked the shot.
"Oopsie!" I say while running to him.
"Jesus, you kick hard. Are you not going to say sorry?" he says teasingly while holding onto his nose in pain.
"You could have moved out of the way." I pat him on the back. "Better luck next time, Champ." I say in my best serious voice.
"You little-" he starts.
"Hey. Watch it. Now come play and stop being a wuss," I challenge. We fight over the ball and our game commences.
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YOU ARE READING
Better Kept Secret
RomanceElowyn "Winnie" Smith met Ben when she was 4 years old. They've been best friends since they were 6. After her dad died when she was 13, he was the only person she wanted to talk to. He should know everything about her, shouldn't he? But he doesn'...
