What are you hiding? The past.
Me and the older girls been chilling in my room all day. Blue order us chipotle and rumi got us watching sum weird a** killer documentary. I get scared for my kids sometimes they started to pick up a few of my traits.
But rumi is really scaring me cus I know how I was at her age.
Flashback
I sat down in my seat and already heard the girls teasing me. They would put their folders up to their ears and called me 'dumbo'. I just sighed turning back to the board, I was use to it by now.
As the class went on I started staring at Logan. She was lighter than me and had blonde hair with green eyes. I always thought she was beautiful but she teases me the most.
She caught me looking at her. Oh no. She stood up getting the glass attention I quickly turned back to the board gulping.
"Omg stop staring at me Beyoncé! I don't wanna be your girlfriend I'm not GAY"
"I KNEW SHE WAS GAY"
"No I'm not!"
"That's why she don't wear dresses cus she's a DYKE"
"Class settle down"
I put my head on the desk silently crying, I was in fact gay but was too young to really know what that meant. Of course in elementary school being gay was the worst thing to possibly happen to you.
It was finally recess and I was sitting on the bench. I spotted Logan again she was sitting under a tree talking amongst her friends. I stared at her from a far but it wasn't like earlier I felt...different.
The more I stared at her the more I thought about a rope wrapping around her neck. The thought of her hanging from a tree made me crack a smile. I don't know what this feeling is but...I like it.
Flashback over
My phone started ringing snapping me out of my thoughts. It was Zen! I quickly sat up fixing my self but then I remembered.
"Oh yall get out"
"Uh uhn who you tryn hide from us!" Blue sat up.
"Girl I'm grown!"
"We wanna meet her" rainy smiled.
"No yall get out"
"But mommm the movie isn't done"
"Rumi take your creepy a** documentary in your room"
"Ughh" they said in unison getting out.
"Hey bey"
"Heyy what are you up to"
"Nothing just watching a lil movie"
"Oh fun" I eyed blue who laid back on my bed.
"What about you, you look good"
I smiled watching her look me up and down. Before I could respond blue put her big head in camera.
"Hii" she waved.
"Move" I pushed her away.
"I just wanna seeeee"
"No!"
"Who's that"
I quickly looked back at the camera. Should I lie?
"OH YOU LIKE EM YOUNG"
I immediately kicked her off the bed.
"Oww"
"Huh?"
"Oh d-don't worry about it ima call you later"
"Wait! so um when are we going to yk go on a date?"
"A DATE???"
I kicked her again.
"Oww" she'll be ok.
"Um maybe next week"
"But you said that last week beyyy"
"I kno I just have a lot going on"
"Like what"
"Like stuff.."
"Bey what the f*ck are you hiding from me like I think you like me but it seems like you're closed off so it's like what do you want from me I know I'm young but I'm not stupid"
"I know you're not stu-"
"Then what are you hiding"
I went silent.
"Have a good night"
"No I don't want you to be mad at me"
"I'm not mad I'm just tired of you lying to me"
I sighed.
"I gotta go"
She hung up and I flopped back on the bed. Blue crawled back on the bed next to me.
"So you're getting back into dating"
"I was but maybe I should just let it go"
"Mom you can't hold on to the past forever it's been years since that happened you gotta forgive yourself"
"I- I can't" I put my head down letting my tears fall freely.
Blue hugged me rubbing my back. I hugged her back trying to suck up my tears.
"Maybe relationships just aren't our thing"
"Kayla broke up with you?" I think that's the girl name.
"We got into a petty argument and then she sent me a video of sum guy dry humping her"
"D*mm" I looked up at her.
"Yea we were finished before we even started"
"It's fine we can be single together"
She giggled. I pulled her on my lap and kissed my baby on her head. I'm glad we can bond over heartbreaks.
Author note💕
Today's flashback was a sneak peak of the trilogy!⭐️
