Mafia fascinations(2nd book in mafias obsession series)

chapter 22: Why? Why? Why?

I had finally decided to give in and find the address my nana had given me. I know i shouldn't be believing that she's truly alive but how was i supposed to not to? Every piece of proof I needed was there, every sign that it was her was there. I mean there was no way someone could have that much information about her right? 

Thoughts of what I was to do when I first saw her crossed my mind. Would I ask her all the questions I had on my mind? Hug her? Tell her all about my life? I would tell her everything, tell her all the families I had been, tell her how i had fallen in love and gotten my heart broken, tell her how I had found my two soulmates that I knew would always treat me right. I would tell her both the good and the bad and most of all I would tell her how much i had missed her.

Would she be angry at me for no longer being in contact with my brother? Would she still be in a wheelchair? How old would she be now? Would she love me as much as she did?

I bet she would still have that strong, confident personality that she always carried. I bet she would still have the perfect manners and strong beliefs. I bet she was still able to fill the room with light.

A smile appeared on my face at the thought that i would finally be able to see her again. Child me was right, she truly did just find a way to escape. She was alive, my mother figure was alive. She would be able to make me happy again, i would be able to feel safe and my depression would disappear. She was alive. She was alive. She was alive.

As I continued to walk, I passed flowers in trees and the air smelled so much fresher. The world suddenly seemed a lot brighter and my heart pounded in my chest like it was playing a deep melody. I wonder if she still enjoyed to hum sweet melody's. Would she hum any to me? Did she still feel like a soft pillow of hope and comfort. 

I was walking into a forest, walking deeper and deeper. It didn't surprise me that she wanted to meet in such a beautiful place, i bet the nature goddess kept her safe and protected. I bet the nature goddess was the reason she was still alive, i bet she whispered to the nature goddess every night and she would whisper back of course.

It took every will I had to not revert back to a childlike mindset, it took every will I had to not run through the trees and squeal in excitement. My nana was alive. I would be ok again. We could live in a little cottage and drink tea and eat scones and penguins and cute little sandwiches. The cabin would be covered in flowers, her favourite of course, and we would have visitors from all over the world. She would be able to become the nurse she wanted to be again, and when the nature goddess finally took her for good I would lay by her side in a whole bunch of flowers and sing her a soft melody, allowing her final moments to be peaceful and calm. 

I would be able to say a true goodbye to her and have closure and she would no longer be suffering. Her final years of life would be nothing but sweet and positive, her final years would overpower the life of torture she so unfairly lived. I would be able to give her the justice she deserved by living somewhat of a good life. She could be happy and all because of me.

"Well well well look what we have here." I heard a voice that was definitley not my nana's.

"I didn't think you would make it" another voice spoke.

"I can't believe my eyes. you actually fell for it" No. No please. Please.

"Aww are you going to cry now?" My heart finally shattered.

Looking up I saw the reason why i never trusted people, the reason why belief was stupid, the reason why i wanted to lose every breath of oxygen right this moment.

Standing in front of me was Olivia, Daniela and the boy I thought I would be able to somewhat forgive, Daniela's boyfriend.

"Aww don't tell me you truly did believe it?" he chuckled, walking behind me as he wrapped a strand of my hair around his knife. It took every piece of me to not beg him to kill me and let my lifeless body fall to the ground. I wished I had died when I was on the heist with the others, at least I would no know better and not be as broken hearted as I was at this moment.

I refused to put up a fight as he kicked the back of my legs, making me fall to the ground. Why would I? It wasn't like life truly had any point or meaning anymore. I had fallen for a stupid prank and now look at me, kneeling in front of my bullies with tears in my eyes with only one thing on my mind. Why and how. 

"How'd you-" I managed to get out somehow, but no other words would come out after it.

"Shut up. Did I say you could speak?" Olivia yelled. "How we did what we did isn't any of your business" at first I had thought that Daniela was the so called leader of them, but it seemed that Olivia was so so much worst. 

"Aww don't cry sweetheart" Daniela's boyfriend mocked, raising my head so my eyes would meet his. "It'll only result in you choking on my cock" for once I didn't have a sarcastic comeback to  answer with, I simply stared at him with a blank expression. My ears were ringing and I almost wished for my body to pass out, to not allow me to know what was going to happen to me. But a part of me wanted to know, a part of me felt like it deserved at least that, to know how ruined my body was going to be. 

Being frozen in my place, he took advantage of it and suddenly his filthy cock was in my mouth. I wanted to push him away or at least struggle, but instead i could do nothing but stay still and feel disgusted with my body. I felt dirty, more dirty than i ever had and my body felt like it wasn't my own. All i could hear was laughter as my breathing began to stop, he was pushing further and further to the back of my throat until i felt like I was going to die from the lack of air. Eventually my body gave in and my vision went from dotted over to completely black. 

I'm sorry nana for being such a disappointment and i'm sorry my loves for not hanging on for longer.