Mafia fascinations(2nd book in mafias obsession series)

chapter 6: Own kind of comfort

Shaun had told Lye that I was simply stressed over a few things and somehow he brought it, or at least was pretending to. 

The only downside of the situation was everyone decided they would take this as a sign to make a resting day for me. Why was it a bad thing? Because it consumed me with guilt. Sure I was stressed, but that didn't mean I needed a day focusing around making me feel better.

"But-" I tried to protest once again but I was cut off by Lye smashing his lips against mine. 

"Shut up or else I'll make you princess, we're not having another situation like before" he meant the moment where I was completely ready to give up with life and wanted to end it all.

All I could do was huff a reply, there was no point in continuing to protest about it, when he was settled on a decision that was it.

It was stupid but cute when you looked around and saw how we were all dressed. Sadie and Lye had matching scooby doo onesies, Fern and Liver had matching cow ones, Blade and Fynn had shark ones and Creed, Summer and Zara had the cutest stitch and angel onesies, Zara being a purple angel and Summer being a pink one. I personally thought mine was the best out of them all though; a kuromi one. At first I couldn't pick between hello kitty and Kuromi, but in the end Kuromi always wins in my books.

Creed set up a campfire in the garden and Lye had put out many many blankets. Their was snacks in front of us and a screen projector with a movie waiting to be played. 

Before I could even start to protest, Lye pulled me onto his lap. "You need to stop doing this you know" I mumbled against his chest, although I was showing that I was complaining that didn't stop me from enjoying every bit of it. What can I say, a person always loves themselves some cuddles, especially if that person is me.

"Oh I do, do I?" He chuckled softly, playing with my hair, "why so?"

"Because" it wasn't much of an answer but I couldn't come up with any excuse.

"Because isn't an answer gorgeous" he whispered and kissed my head gently.

"Hmph" I grumbled and took in his scent, the scent calming me more than ever.

"Stop arguing love birds" Liver said and Lye instantly looked up.

"Your lucky I haven't killed you yet" Lye growled and pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I'm surprised you haven't" Fern stated, rolling her eyes at Liver's acting of being wounded by her words. All Lye did in return of an answer was grumble, as he kept his head buried in the crook of my neck. 

Sadie layed her head against us and I smiled in response, taking her hand in mine and running my thumb along the back of her hand. 

The movie played in the background, but none of us really focused much on it, it was more white noise than anything. We were all too focused on what was happening with ourselves than what was on the screen, but instead of being annoyed that we weren't watching it, it felt peaceful. 

I watched Sadie and took in all her features, her beautiful brown eyes, her curly hair I couldn't help but want to put plaits in, every part of her. She was like a rose quartz in a stash of diamonds. Sure diamonds were pretty and valuable, but they were also easily replaceable, the rose quartz was gorgeous, stood out of the crowd and was one of a kind. The fool would take the diamond, focusing only on the value set by society instead of the value set by the universe. The one that truly took their time would see the quartz, the crystal that should be treasured and that could only be taken by few. 

It was unfair that the only words that could express how I felt about her was "I love you more than anything beautiful angel". 

She was so precious. Too precious. Too precious for this world, too precious for this lifestyle, too precious for a dark broken soul like mine. Her soul felt like it healed others, but to what extent was her breaking point? When was a soul too dark for her to heal, that it would cause hers to be broken to? Such questions that I didn't want to know the answers to, that I was scared to know the answers to. Was my soul too dark for hers? Too broken for her love? Did it hold too many twisted secrets that it didn't deserve her?

I wanted to deserve her more than anything. I wanted to marry her, start a family with her, have her be mine forever. But was that what she wanted? Did she love me as much as I loved her or was she simply too sweet that she couldn't tell me otherwise? Did I deserve such a beauty in my life? Whoever knew the answers were cruel from keeping them from me. Was I going to have her in my life forever or not? Time was an evil thing, knowing the answers to the questions yet keeping them locked away. I could only wish I could know the answer but it would never come to me, the only moment I would truly know the answer is when I die but what's the point in that if I'm unable to react to it. I suppose this is why people believe in hope and destiny, because it was the only way to heal from not knowing what's to come next.

"What are you thinking about my dove?" The music of the beautiful voice brought a smile to my face. I looked down to the owner of the such beauty and couldn't help but gaze into the eyes that made me feel like a sailor lost by the sirens. 

"Nothing my love" I whispered a reply, of course my answer was a lie but how were you supposed to explain to a siren that you were dreaming of them and that your heart was already long gone with them? That's the thing about sirens isn't it? Their beauty held many secrets, one of them being how they planned to use you, were they going to keep loving you until days end or would they love you until they knew your heart belonged to them and without a second thought drown you in a beautiful death.

All she did is smile at me, a smile that filled my heart with joy, a smile that could kill anyone with one glance due to the beauty of it, a smile I wished I could see everyday. 

"Mine.." They were the only words that managed to escape my throat, yet were the words truthful or not? I suppose that was another thing up to the immense power of destiny.