Mafia fascinations(2nd book in mafias obsession series)

chapter 28: I'm not your puppy.

I'm not an animal. I'm not an animal. I'm not an animal. I'm not an animal. I'm not an animal.

I was locked away once again. I didn't know whether it was worst or better than the attic. It was like picking between being burnt to death or frozen to death, two of the most painful ways someone could die. Yet slightly different in the way they worked. Different in the ways your body would react, yet so similar with the cruelty of death.

I was in a cage fit for a pet, down in a very dimly lit basement. The lights almost had no purpose, most of the time I wished there wasn't any lights. That way I wouldn't have to see others go through such similar torture.

It was a punishment he loved giving me. He loved to show me that I was nothing more than an animal to him, that he could treat me however he wanted. That he owned me.

I wasn't the only person down here and although it gave me comfort, sometimes I wished I was. I hated that he was doing this to others. They were humans like me, they didn't deserve this. None of us choose to be in this situation, but at least I was born into the family. Half of them were taken children, taken from their loving families, taken from paradise. We were children. Not animals.

Sometimes I wished I was an animal. That way I wouldn't be so weak, or at least not so aware. At least animals didn't know that this was wrong, at least animals knew no better, at least animals loved their owners no matter what.

I could feel the metal chains against my wrists, rubbing against them and making my skin even more sensitive than it was. Of course my skin was originally sensitive, I mean after all I was only 2 or 3 years old, but with the skin feeling like it was coming off it felt even more so. The metal bars in front of me did nothing but remind me that there was no escape, not until he had to take me home that was. To others this was just a trip with my father, that's all they ever thought it was, that he was taking me to see his family. What a nice father. Or at least he would be if he wasn't in reality taking me to his gang.

I always questioned why he locked me up if in his eyes I was always his heir. But then again I questioned if I ever was, I questioned everything he ever told me. He was a good liar. An even better one than me.

Being locked down here, all I could ever here was the screams of others. Screams that reminded me that soon I would be next. They wouldn't kill me, I knew my father was better than that, or maybe he was just smarter. But they would make me wish I was dead. Death seemed so much better than this, at least death was a kind of safety. Here was anything but safe.

I always wondered why my father allowed this to happen. Why he hated me so much. Why he didn't just stay gone every time he left. Why he kept coming back to what seems like just torturing me. I think he hated me. But that was fine, I hated him too.

I hated that he was such a cruel man. I hated that he picked his gang and drugs over me. I hated that he didn't love his own child. I hated that he kept coming back and messing with my mind. I hated how he felt and how he talked. I hated everything about him.

"Crawl to me pet~" his words brought tears to my eyes. I'm not your pet, I never was your pet. I'm your daughter. Look at me father, look me in the eyes without you being high and see me. See me. See who your daughter is. Look at me!

He would never look at me, or at least never see who I was. His eyes were too dissociated, like he wasn't truly here at all. Like he saw things that no one else did.

He pulled me to him, not caring that he was scaring me, not caring that I was hurt. Not caring that I was in pain.

"Your getting fatter pet. Dogs aren't supposed to be as fat as you are. I should give you less food" he never gave me food in the first place. He gave me scraps and animal food. I hated how he would complain whilst using my body. Like it was my fault that I looked the way I did. Like it was my fault that I wasn't his picture perfect girl. Like it was my fault that he wanted me for nothing other than my body and to train me to be perfection. I wasn't perfect. Everyone knew that. So why was he even trying?

I saw people staring at me. People that were treated like human. They were smiling, smirking, grinning. They laughed. And he laughed with them. He started the laughter in the first place. I was hurting, just so they could have some fun.

That's all I ever was wasn't it? Just some fun. A toy to be played with. A doll to be used. A pet, an animal, something that screamed out "play with me." Maybe that's all I was ever good for. My body.

I was there to take commands. Eat this, eat that. Suck my dick. Take my cock even though your a child. Force yourself to act like your enjoying it. Make me money. I was nothing more than something people could use. What was I worth other than to do things for other people? I knew they were family, but if this is what family was then I hated that word.

I heard more of the screams. These poor children, they were being hurt. They were being hurt because of me. Because I couldn't get my father to stop. Because I wasn't enough to stop my father. I didn't care if I was to be saved or not, but I needed them to be. I wished I could save them. But a drowning person can't help another swim.

"Your tears are pathetic. Your pathetic. Your just like your mother, a pathetic whore." I wanted to scream at him. To tell him that she wasn't pathetic. To tell him that he was for using her. For hurting her. My mum was hurt because of him and I hated him for it.

He saw an opportunity to take advantage of someone and he took it. That's all he ever did, took opportunities to hurt people. He wasn't a man, he wasn't a father, he wasn't even human. He was a monster. A cruel monster that ruined people's lives.

I wished I could be a good enough daughter. But all he ever wanted was a pet and gang member. Maybe I was made to disappoint everyone. All I ever craved for was a father. Too bad that's all they'll ever be, cravings.