Mafia fascinations(2nd book in mafias obsession series)

chapter 37: We'll party until the son falls

The night was too quiet as if the world itself was holding its breath. As if the world knew what we were about to do and how wrong it was. As if in one slight movement we could get caught.

As we stepped into the house, the faint movement of music played in the background and you could hear the sound of our heels click against the marble flooring. Cocktails were being served in a corner, whilst most of the people were gracefully dancing in the middle of the room. Although i had an urge to dance with them, we were here for one thing and one thing only. 

"Blend in with the other's as best as you can, try to look out for some escape routes and only socialise with small talk. Got it?" The instructions were clear enough, but nerves still ran through my body. And so did the worst feeling in the world. Guilt. 

Even the word itself felt bad to say, i hated it. The feeling of guilt, the worries it came with and the sharp pang of regret it gave to your chest. I knew what we were doing was supposedly the right thing to do, but it didn't feel like it was. After all when was killing someone innocent ever the right thing to do?  

I killed those that deserved it. Not those that didn't. I didn't want to be seen as a monster, I didn't want to be seen as cruel and evil and twisted. The reasons i killed were supposed to be fair, whilst this was anything other than fair. In the back of my mind continuously played the words, if you want to be part of this organisation you have to make sacrifices. But how far were those sacrifices to go. Was i really supposed to kill someone innocent? And for what? So he didn't become like the evil man that raised him? How was it anyone else's decision or choice for if he became like him at all.

At the end of the day i was more like him than other's would assume. I was forced to do evil things as a kid for survival. I was raised by the cruelest people, shown that being a certain evil way was the right way to be. Would they kill me too if they found that out? Would Lye stop them, or would he be the one that gave the orders? 

Maybe i was being too heartless, unfair and mean. But at the end of the day when your to kill someone so similar to yourself, you start to wonder if you too should be killed. If you should kill them and then commit suicide or if your to kill them and have someone else kill you. What a cruel world it was; filled of murder and evil and terrible thoughts. What a cruel person i was for indulging in them. 

Seeing Max stand by Lye's side, i wondered if they ever thought of truly killing me. He could if he wanted to, it wasn't like he truly needed me. He had Sadie and Max as his queens, and it wasn't like i offered anything to him. So at the end of the day he didn't need me, so i couldn't understand why he kept me in his life all this time. Why he didn't just ignore me when i said i liked him or shut me down completely. 

"You shouldn't worry about them." I heard Mia beside me, making me look at her. "Sure he loves Max with his whole heart, but he loves you too. He loves all three of you. Believe me there's no way he could make it without you, he needs you." I didn't know how she knew what i was thinking or how she knew what i needed to here, but i was grateful either way. Grateful that i could hear those words come from another person, that someone could reassure me. Reassure me that i wasn't making the wrong decision, not that i could go back even if i wanted to, i was too deep in now to return back to anything. 

Seeing the person we were about to kill, i almost wanted to go over to him and tell him to run. To run as fast as he could and not look back. To leave behind everything and start a new life. But even if i did tell him that would he listen at all? With parties like this, girls on his arm whenever he liked and friends that worshipped him, maybe he enjoyed the life he had. Maybe i would be risking my own life for nothing. 

"Killing him is our mission. Not helping him." Eveline spoke. She was right, although i wished she wasn't, we were here to kill him to prove that we could. We weren't here to tell him to run, or give him plane tickets to a new life. 

My heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. In only a few moment's, everything would go to chaos. We would kill everyone in this room that wasn't a part of our organisation so there would be no witnesses and we would kill the heir to a wicked throne. 

Almost like i had wished it, steam came up from the ground, making the guests cough and some of them already fall. The muse of our murder, looked around in desperation. Almost like they knew what was coming, like they knew they would be next. That everything they ever earned would just evaporate. 

"I'm sorry" I said under my breath, before shooting the boy in the heart. The boy that was only 1 year older than me. The boy that should've been born into a different family. It wasn't his fault that he was born into this but it was his fault for acting the way he did. He was now nothing more than a lifeless body. One that would be cut and gutted, and buried far beneath the ground so no one would ever find him. His eyes that were  once filled with passion, would now be frozen in fear forever. Fear of losing everything. 

I wish i could have saved him. I wish he was more evil so it would be easier to kill him. I wish my guilt would leave with his soul. I wish he never existed, so this wouldn't have had to happen. But no matter how much i wished, what had happened had and nothing would be able to change it. 

Afterall sometimes you have to be the villain to save the world. And making a long bloodline of evil finally end, was saving it. 

"Be careful what you wish for. It remembers who wished it." Max stated, pulling me out of my thoughts and making me even more nervous than i was. Was that a threat, or was it simple words? Was it the truth or was it not? I suppose one day i would find out anyway. One day far into the future.