Mafia fascinations(2nd book in mafias obsession series)

chapter 34: Who said Zade and Adeline are the only ones who can have fun?

I felt my heart stuck in my throat. Was this the moment I was gonna die? I knew my wish was always to die in a memorable way, and maybe this was a way I would be remembered. I would be known as the 16 year old who died from the masked man who chased her with a knife. I would be like Alison Dilaurentis, such a strange yet fascinating dream. Maybe they wouldn't believe someone had killed me, maybe they would think i had committed suicide instead. I wouldn't put it past them, half the time I ended up in hospital was because of a suicide attempt or because i was about to act on one. I wonder if the stab wound would be enough to tell them otherwise or if it would just confirm it. 

My legs felt like they were getting weaker, slower, heavier. I wondered how much longer I could run for, I doubt I could run any longer than an hour, if that at all. Suddenly I tripped over something, making my heart beat even faster. Although I wanted to know who was under the mask, it didn't mean that I was ready to die for it. Did it? Was I ready to die? To let go of everything? To leave everything behind? My life, my family, my friends. Them. 

Maybe I was more than ready, maybe I craved the feeling of death. To know what happened after it, to feel my heart completely slow down, to bleed out. I wondered what it felt like. What the feeling of death was like, what the fear and relief was like. Although i was thinking of death and somewhat craving it, I seemed to be back on my feet and running away from it. That was typical me, running away from what i truly wanted. But if i didn't want it? It was like i practically made myself fall into their arms. 

Maybe I wasn't running away from death at all, maybe I was running away to feel more of the fear. After all I was a masochist, a big one at that. Looking at the knife, I almost wished it was inside of me. It seemed to be a butcher knife so I knew it would hurt like hell, it would give me the perfect amount of pain I was craving. Although knowing me I would probably crave for more than I could be given, I always wanted more than I had. I wondered how bad it would hurt and how big of a cut it would give. 

Truthfully i felt like Adeline and I loved that my fantasy was coming true. Maybe whoever was under the mask was my Zade. I could see that under their shirt they had the tattoos for it and i was almost certain that their eyes must be dreamy. Maybe I had read and written too many dark romances that it was getting to my head or maybe the fact that someone was chasing me to kill me directly was enough. After all they had chosen me over anyone else, something that did nothing but make me feel special. 

Maybe I didn't treasure my life enough. Maybe I should be screaming for help, maybe I should want my life, maybe all of these thoughts that crossed my mind proved how much I should be in a mental hospital. Or maybe my attraction to fear wasn't my fault, maybe there was someone else to blame. Although I hated humanity I wasn't so different from it. I too looked for other people or things to blame so I wouldn't have to feel so guilty. I mean the fact that it felt like all my dreams would eventually come true because my life was on the line, clearly screamed that I was a crazy psychopath that needed to be locked away for good. 

Suddenly my back was pressed against one of the trees, the knife placed against my throat "no where to run now~" the deep voice growled. As my fear increased so did the craving of being fucked. I wanted to know what his hands felt like, what his kisses were like, if he would make me bleed whilst he fucked me. His mask seemed to turn me on even more, it being a simple black one and leaving everything to the imagination. I almost wanted to command him to show me his eyes, to touch me in ways that would make me scream, whine and moan all at once. 

His knife ran along my body, going along my curves and every other part of my body. Almost like he was allowing his knife to get to know me on a deeper level. His movements brought a blush to my cheeks, one that was so deep that i was sure it was as obvious as the sun on a bright day. His knife travelled down to between my thighs, as he brought it closer and closer to the place i needed it most. 

"Give me your panties~" he commanded and with one swift movement I did. I wanted to follow every order he gave me, I wanted him to call me a good girl but then again I also wanted him to call me a slut. So suddenly he thrusted the handle of his knife inside me "keep it there~" he commanded as he placed a vibrating plug inside me too. His hand moving to my throat, his touch felt more than familiar, a touch I could never forget, a touch I always craved. 

"Lye" I breathed out. 

"It's master to you. Now get on your knees like a good little slut~" doing as he commanded I sank to my knees. He pulled out his cock and placed it to my lips, "suck on your pacifier like your life depends on it~" his hand wrapped tighter around my throat, "because maybe it does." Listening to his command I did so, closing my eyes as I sucked on his cock. As he thrusted to the back of my throat, he turned on the plug, making me whine and choke. 

"Grind against it~ get yourself off to riding against my knife~" he ordered, making me do so. As I rode against his knife, more whines escaped my lips. The pain, the fear, the pleasure. It all brought the perfect, overwhelming feeling. I needed more but then again I also needed it to be out of me. My breathing seemed to get heavier. 

"Faster~" he stated, looking down at my slight struggles. I tried to beg him but my protests came out muffled against his cock. "Do as I say little slut~ Master knows what's best for you". Eventually doing as he said, I rode faster against the knife, whimpers and moans escaping my lips. My thighs clenched together as I continued to listen to his command, the need for release getting stronger. 

"Cum little slut~" suddenly at his words I did so, cumming all over his knife. "Atta girl~"