Mafia fascinations(2nd book in mafias obsession series)

chapter 44: Conversation or Confession

"we don't have to talk about this.." I could barely speak.

"we do Allia. You know we do" his voice was calm and gentle, but how could he be so calm in a situation like this?

I simply shook my head as a response. We couldn't talk about this, we simply couldn't.

"is it that you don't think we have to talk about this or that you don't want to?" he asked me softly.

"We have to forget any of it ever happened Creed. If Zara or Summer found out.." I was cut off by him.

"What exactly do you think they would do Allia? They want me happy.. they want you happy. at the end of the day that's all they care about" he stated.

"is it? Because what is their reaction gonna be when they figure out their boyfriend was kissing, touching, fucking - the girl that probably, no definitley owes them their life?" Maybe my words were harsh, possibly even cruel, but it was the truth.

"you know what i think they would think?" Creed took a step closer to me whilst i took one back, the pattern continuing for a few moments "i think" another step "they would be happy that their boyfriend was lucky enough to find another person that felt just right for him" he said the words like he knew what their reaction would be but what if it was the complete opposite? "they would be happy that he was able to find someone else to make him happy, someone else he wanted to protect and care for." he tilted my chin slightly so my gaze met his, "that's not just what i think but what i know kiddo".

"bu- ho-" My words started but they couldn't finish. How did he know? How did he know that's how they would react? I could barely look at my own partners, let alone his, after what happened. 

"kid please listen to me." he looked me in the eyes "i. know. trust me on this, ok?" i took a deep breath, having an urge to fight back but instead giving in. I needed to give in, to trust him, believe him. Because if i didn't, all i would feel would be the constant guilt. And i didn't know how much longer i could survive with this guilt, how much longer i could bare it. 

"mhm" i could feel the tears drip down my face. Tears of sadness, tears of regret, tears of hope, tears of relief. It was like i was feeling every emotion in this moment. Tell me you love me. Tell me you want me.

"It's you and me ok? You have Sadie, you have Lye and now you have me too. All of us willing to protect and love you, all of us wanting to bring you nothing more than happiness" He spoke the words that i wanted. Somehow knowing what i needed. Kissing me softly, he pulled back for a moment if i was sure of this. 

"All of you.. mine.." I was trying to process the information. I was still loved and i was gonna be ok. 

"All of us" he confirmed, kissing me again, this time having me kiss him back. 

We kissed each other like we were providing one another comfort, hope and love. Like we were reassuring one another that we were there. That we weren't alone. 

His fingers ran through my hair, tugging on it slightly. I knew i now had him. For how long i didn't know, but what i did know was i was gonna enjoy my time with him. No matter if we would only last a couple of months, years, forever. It didn't matter, because unlike with Sadie and Lye, i didn't care about forever. I cared more about the moment than anything. 

We sat in his room, playing a couple of video games and my head being layed against his chest. Finally not worried if someone walked in, it was more like the opposite. I wanted someone to walk in and see, to know what other people's reactions would be. I wanted to know if people thought we would be good together or not. I wanted to be like a true couple because truthfully i was sick and tired of hiding the relationships i had. Wait, were we even in a relationship?

"Are we" I was afraid to ask my question properly, hoping he would know what i was talking about. After all there had been times i had asked someone out and they didn't realise or they just thought we were friends. So it sounded reasonable enough to want to know. 

"Dating?" he chuckled "yes Allia. As long as you want to then yes" he smiled, pulling me closer to him. Thank god, because if he just friend zoned me that would hurt like hell.

Smiling, i leaned up and kissed him. Now everything was just up to fate, a scary thought but one that was simply the truth. The universe would now decide how long we would be together and if our relationship was a good thing or not.