Mafia fascinations(2nd book in mafias obsession series)

chapter 35: Never again pt.2

In between the loud sounds of the club, all I could hear was my thoughts getting louder and louder. I needed to take a moment of air, even if it was just a moment. It was all too much.

Stepping outside I finally felt the cold air on my face, making me feel a little better. My head felt dizzy from how much I was drinking, seeing as I was drinking my nerves away and had taken at least 12 shots. Why was I drinking my nerves away? Well everything had come to me at once, the fact that i got kidnapped, the paralyzed moment, the fact that i met the person that could probably control my whole life. Oh and the fact that I kissed my boyfriend's best friend and would most likely do it again. 

Almost ironically enough, Creed was stood outside too, seemingly taking a breath of air like I was. 

"Allia" he looked up at me with dazy eyes, almost like he was thinking about me. Or maybe I just wanted him to be thinking about me. After all it would most likely be the most embarrassing thing if I was thinking about him and he hadn't even taken a small thought to mind about me. Not that I would blame him. "You've  been ignoring me." he stated. He wasn't wrong, ever since that night I had been ignoring him, terrified my paralyzed thought would come true. 

"I'm sorry.." it took everything I had to even get those words out, in all honesty all I could think about was running. Typical me I guess, running from my problems instead of facing them. 

"You don't have to apologise. I get it. Although I wish it was different." He wished it was different? As in he regretted he kissed me? Or did he regret that he hadn't done it again?

"I guess that's life, wishing for things you can't ever have" I tried to make the room less tense, but the air seemed to thicken instead. 

"I guess your right. Unfair life, isn't it?" He wasn't wrong. Life had been unfair to me since I was born, giving me parents that didn't love me, having me go through abuse when I should have been thinking of milk and friends, making me extremely suicidal, taking away the only people who really cared about me in life. Life was cruel, it was an evil twisted entity that made the good people go through hell. 

"Mhm" he seemed to be getting closer to me, making me more nervous. Was he getting closer to leave or was he- Suddenly my back was pinned to the wall and his hands were above my head.

"Creed what are you-" I started to stutter.

"Why do you have to be so fucking pretty" his eyes seemed to dilate, almost like he was about to take what was his very own personal drug;

"Shut up.." I mumbled. I found myself anything other than pretty so what he was saying felt like nothing other than lies. I hated lies. Almost as much as I hated jealousy. What would i do if Lye was jealous of this? It wasn't so simple as leaving him, as I would usually decide. Even with trying to leave before, I never could, I was too in love with him to do so. 

"Make me" he whispered, our lips only millimeters apart. I shouldn't be doing this. What would Lye and Sadie think? Would they hate me? This was more than wrong, but that's the thing about addictions. They never let you go. 

I kissed him. I kissed him and it felt like sparks flew. I hated how wrong it was, but then again i'd be lying if i said i didn't love it. I was a sucker for forbidden romances, it was probably why most of my relationships never worked out. I just seemed to love the excitement and adrenaline it gave you too much, the risk of danger and getting caught. All it truly did was turn me on and make me want more. 

"We shouldn't be doing this" I mumbled against his lips

"I know" he stated before kissing me deeper, pulling me closer to him. 

I hated him. I hated how I was addicted to him. I hated how he made me want more. I hated how he was almost as attractive as my soulmates. I hated how I couldn't resist him. And most of all I hated how i was falling for him.

His hands went under my thighs, making me wrap my legs around him. Truthfully it felt like one of those cliche movies. But we were anything other than cliche, we were wrong and twisted in so many ways. We wanted to kill each other almost as much as we wanted to kiss each other, he was too old for me and falling for my boyfriend's best friend should never be something that crosses my mind. Yet it does, multiple times, multiple times a day I think of him when I shouldn't. Multiple times a day I think of how we could get each other into trouble and all it seemed to me was fun. Multiple times a day I think of his touch, scent and taste. The way I desperately want him to try and kill me again.

Clearly my mind was fucked up, but I guess I couldn't help my cravings. No matter how wrong they are. 

Suddenly his hand was around my throat again, his other hand in my hair, as I was unbuttoning his shirt. "you know how much i've been thinking about kissing you all this time?" I probably did, I probably more than knew as I was sure I thought about it a lot more than he did. 

"Tell me. Tell me how desperate you were to have me. How desperately you wanted to kiss, mark and fuck me. I want to know. I need to know" I whispered  against his ear, kissing along the lobe down to his neck. As I sucked on his neck I listened to how much he had, seemingly almost as much as I had. This was all wrong. But if I had known him in any other way would I even be attracted to him at all? Truthfully I doubted it, seeing as half of my attraction stemmed from my twisted thinking and kink of being shared by two best friends, maybe more than two. 

Suddenly a gasp escaped my throat as his cock was inside me again, this time harder and faster than before. Like he needed this, like he needed it as much as i did. 

Moving against him, his groans were practically my sign to continue. To continue fucking someone i shouldn't. Our moans, groans and whimpers sounded like heaven, like music that was utter perfection. 

"Tell me you need me Allia~ Tell me how bad you want me~" he groaned, tightening his hand around my throat. 

"Fuck~ I need you~ I need you so badly~ Please~" I whined, making him move inside me. 

As we moved against each other, both of us breathing heavily, we both released. Making me think of how i needed to stay away from him, because this can never. ever. happen again.