Mafia fascinations(2nd book in mafias obsession series)

chapter 9: Does it ever stop?

!Trigger Warning!: This chapter contains scenes of Sexual assault, suggested rape and abuse and dating of a minor. Please do not continue to read if this will trigger you.

"What did he do to you?" Her voice was so soft that you couldn't help but feel safe and that you were able to tell her everything. But the question. The question unlocked so much. So much that I didn't want to talk about, so much that hurt me, so much that I wanted to keep stored away forever and forget about. What did he do to me? What did he do. To me? What. Did. He. Do. To. Me.

His laugh. His grin. His touch. I needed it to all go away. Make it go away.

"Your safe with me" Lie. "It'll only take a moment" Another lie. "I promise no one will hurt you" Another lie. Stop lying! Tell me the truth! 

I felt the breeze brush through my hair, the material of my clothes on my skin, the grip of his hand holding mine. Safety. That's what he wanted me to think it was wasn't it? That I could never get hurt? That he would protect me forever? 

I looked up at him and smiled. Why did I smile? Did I really believe him? 

"Trust me babe?" He asked as he looked down at me. Of course I did. He knew I did.

"Mhm" I felt so happy with him. Someone loved me. Someone cared. Someone wanted me in their life. 

"My friends can't wait to see you" Yeah I bet I know just how much they can't wait. My childish heart lit up, he was gonna show me off, he wasn't embarrassed to have me. He truly wanted me.

We walked down the street, holding hands, like a romantic couple. I'm sure to half of society we looked like we were. To the other half we looked like an older brother taking care of a younger sister. Neither were right.

"I love you babe" His eyes and the words coming out of his lips said he was telling the truth. Of course I believed him. Anyone would. 

"I love you too!" I giggled and he placed a kiss on the top of my head. Everyone must be so jealous of me. I had one of the most handsome boys in school, and they didn't. He wanted me and not them. He wanted to love me. Maybe we would get married and have a house and kids and pets. Kieran and Leah and Leylan would be our next door neighbours. And Abigail wouldn't live too far and neither would Charlie. We would all have our happy ever afters and it would be a fairytale come true. Yeah a fairytale. If only I had known that was all it was. Just a fairytale that lit my heart up with joy. 

"One day I'll introduce you as my wife" Really? He wanted me to be his wife as much as I wanted him to be my husband? What would our wedding look like? Whatever it did there would have to be lots and lots of cake. I giggled at my thought.

"Almost there babe" He squeezed my hand reassuringly and I squeezed his back.

We arrived at the basketball court and some boys that looked similar to him came over to us. They did some manly sort of handshake and whispered something to each other, whilst I waited for them to tell me what game we would play. Would it be hide and seek? Or tag? Or something else?

"Want to know what game we'll play?" One of his friends looked down at me, smiling and I nodded excitedly. 

"Go over there and wait for me, ok babe?" The male I trusted most in the world, pointed to one of the railings and I nodded, skipping over. I loved to skip, it made me almost as happy as he did.

"Get out of here." What? Who was here? I turned around and saw Abigail crying. Of course she wanted to get involved. Why couldn't she just give me my own happy moments. When she didn't hate me and wasn't hurting me, she was trying to steal things from me. I wasn't gonna let her steal this moment too. 

I walked over to her, trying to control my anger. "I'll see you at school." I stated, trying to seem braver than her.

"But-" She tried to talk but I shook my head, getting angrier. How dare she take away the moment with my future husband.

"Go away." I demanded and for once she actually listened, walking away.

"Good girl, now it's just us" Why did his voice sound darker than usual?

I felt his hard lips against mine, making me pull away in surprise. 

"What you doing?" Grandfather said only he was allowed to do that, so why was he.

"Relax babe, it's what boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to do" Suddenly it felt like my body wasn't mine and my vision went blurry.

I tried to pull away again, but I felt rough hands grab my arms. 

Suddenly the moment wasn't so sweet anymore. I felt hands roam my body, the hands were almost as rough as grandad's.

"Shh" I heard him try to calm me, but all I could do was cry. This didn't feel like love. He was supposed to love me. He did love me. Didn't he..?

All I could hear was groaning, laughs and the voice that suddenly no longer sounded sweet but instead sounded sickening.

Once it felt like he was done, I was dropped to the floor, but the laughter remained.

I felt a scream stuck in my throat and I could swear I had saw Abigail, but I couldn't process anything at this moment. 

A couple of days had suddenly passed, and I still felt my heart ache as much as it did on that day. But it hurt even more when I got told that he was no longer around. Dead? Maybe. But I couldn't process anything, so I didn't know. What had I done?

I looked at my therapist "Do we have to talk about that?" I asked, my breath hitched.

"Where did you just go?" She asked softly, she wasn't gonna let this go.

But when I blinked it wasn't her that was in front of me anymore, no instead it was the bullies that had caused this confusing memory.

"I bet this is what you wanted when you looked at my boyfriend right?" The mockery of the girl's voice rang through my ears. When I looked down I saw that my body was completely stripped and a male was standing in front of me with a smirk.

 What the fuck had just happened?