Fated Or Doomed

Fault In Ourselves

Liv

     

      I can't explain my wildly broken emotions anymore. It all hurts way too damn much. And it was all my fault. I chose to cave in their sweetness. And now I have rotten it all. I had to leave to find a fix. Even if my forever absent is the fix.

      Cradling my body to the couch, I exhale deeper then ever. Connie slowly throws her body after. I can feel her staring at me.

      I look at her with hidden emotions. "Why didn't you tell Mason the truth? He will..Travis will hope for your return."

      "You know Mason. He will keep giving me hope and reasons to go back to them." I replied sadly. "If I have to give up my mate. That means Mason too. It's best I don't tell him. He's just another broken wolf because of me." My heart broke at the truth. There was no way I would be able to have Mason in my life if Travis isn't.
    

      It'll be selfish to think I could have done any of it. It was selfish of me for loving them. Letting them waste their sweet love on me alone. I'll be selfish to say I didn't want to lose my brother on top of my mate. But they will lean on each other when I am gone. They need each other. Not me.   

      I can see Connie trying her best to comfort me. "Elizabeth that's awful. You should have said something to him. It's Mason. He said he won't.."    

      "I heard him Connie. It wasn't a lie I know that. But Travis will sense me on him. He will know. And he will come."     

      Connie gave me a deep sympathy look. And I shrug at her half smile. "I will be okay. Just knowing they will..In time they will part. And I..I." I swallow it down. "I will forever miss them."   

      "Elizabeth I'm sorry you had to make this decision at all."

      She open her arms for me. And I lean in for her to comb my hair. It reminded me of Travis right away. And how Malcolm will sniff my hair. Everything reminds me of them.     

      "I'm proud of you of how much you have grown over the years. You are one of a kind."   

      I don't reply. Yet to myself I speak. One of a kind cost me everything. It costed me love of all aspects.

      Love. Fucking Love.

      "If he comes. Don't you want to at least explain to him? Travis will understand your sac.."

      I shook my head fast. As if it kept my tears from falling. "There's nothing I can give them. I want to hope that I can. And my time here. Away. Will be worth my answers."

      "But..?" She says softly. Knowing my hope runs thin.    

      "If I run through dead ends. Still no change. If I'm still a risk to them. I had already said my goodbyes. Seeing him again will make it harder to leave. Unmarking will.."  

      "It will be like death." A tear drops down at my gasp. "You might have to find a way just for him to move on. That wolf loves you. I don't think he will give up that easy."

      My heart flutter to their love. I wish they hold my love forever. As I will theirs. In seconds my heart deflated knowing the truth. The painful truth of our bond.

      "I can't give them peace of love. So it may not be a choice." I reply coldly.  

      Connie stood up and I see she's not happy with my reply. I know where she stands on my relationship. But I can't. I can't let anyone die because of me. Even if my only option is to end my existence to free them all. However,  the only love I have known is sacrifice.