Fated Or Doomed

Need To

    Liv
   
    Looking down to my mixture bowl. This liquid has thicken to its point. Having a deep red, purple coat to it. Its warm to the touch as I chant slowly and dip my finger into it. Picking it up, I run my finger that has been coated and smug a symbol along my forehead. My shirt hang low to show visible top breast. And again I mark myself with the symbol but now over my beating heart.
   
    "Luna? What on earth are you doing? Should I be worry?" Gamma ask and I shake my head.
   
    I walked around the island and headed to the middle of the room. On the floor I had mark the floor with the same symbol thats cross twice on me. Candles wrapped in twine burn bright orange. I step into the platform and slowly got down to lay on my back. Needing to pretend I am a sleep. As my heart will slow down. I will lean more on my vampire side to active my goal.
   
    "Luna what am I expecting? For how long before I worry? What can I do?" She ask.
    
    I pause from my chanting, turning my head to her as I am still seating upright. Gamma gave me this look of mix confusions and concern. "Nothing. I'll be out for awhile." She calls my name once more. Laying flat down. I continue the chant. As the last words slip out my mouth. My eyes close and my body jump into a darker abyss.
   
    Free falling became a relaxation to me. Feeling the wind touch my skin it hits a cold brew. Making a smile cross my face as I know my spell is working. And I have enter my mind. Leading back to where I once was. Torturing me with noises that made my stomach bile more than normal. My heart crack at the sounds. I couldn't see anything nor did I recognize them. But I was hurt. Almost physically hurt by the agony pain I hear.
   
    I didn't understand any of it then. I have no clue what it meant or why I was hearing it for. But after I had awaken home after the battle. I had time to think and my mind trail back to the noises. And I knew I had to go back and find out what it all meant. Who was being hurt. Was this from the past that I need to relive? Was it even mine? Or was this from the future and I have to prevent something from happening? Who was hurt, what happen? When will this happen? So many questions I need to find out.
   
    I travel time and time again back to my mind. Hitting the cold icy floor. Once that rock ice hits my knees and palms. I had made it safely. And I can get my answers. There was just one annoy part about it.
   
    "Welcome back Elizabeth." I pick my head up to face myself. All dress in dark red. Her eyes shine bright red as if to match her outfit. She wear long thick heel boots. Her fangs poke out as she smile a wave to me.
   
    I got up from the cold floor and brush the icy pebbles off of me. With a stone look I walk towards her as she sits on a throne of ice. Made tall and crave to her fitting.
   
    "Well. Are we gonna start." I state.
   
    "Can't we chat? It will make more sense to you." She giggle at me.
   
    I roll my eyes in full annoyance at her. She seems to enjoy it way too much. I ignore as she does this every damn time I have return. She throws nonsense at me. Claiming I'm wasting my time and only prolonging whats more important in my reality. But if this is something that I believe it is. Isn't this part of my reality too? Rather if it happen or will happen this is my life.
   
    "I got somewhere last time. I knew the pain. And who one or two of them are. I just need more." I state as I stare into the distance.
   
    "What more do you want?"
   
    "A lot more. I need to see them. Their faces won't too clear last time. Show me where it happen. Or when." I demanded.
   
    I hear the click of her tongue and turn to face her. "I can't show you more. You get what you get Elizabeth."
   
    I stand from a block of ice I sat on. My chest rose high. She does this every time. Claiming she can't show me anything. That i'm not meant to know the full pictures. Yet I found out that not all of this happens at once. They are different. So they are scatter out through the time.
   
    "Just one. The girl. I need to know." I ask in a begging tone.
   
    Her red eyes flick at me as I ask. "I can not show much. As you know. But I can show as much as I can. Once it over its over." I nod to her. "Just focus."
   
    And she swing her hand forward and around in a circular motion, a light appears before us. Swirling in color. I slowly get up and she walks aside of me. As images start to peck through, the screaming begins to hit my ear drums.
   
    Just as before. I walk towards it. Closing my eyes I feel her grab my shoulder. "Are you certain this is the one? There are many others for you to clutter your mind."
   
    "I feel a pull to it last time. Her voice was familiar. I want to be sure if it who I think it is."  As last time my body tingle to her scream. Blood splash on the floor and my hand burn. Thats when I jump out. Since then I been thinking about her.
   
    "Okay then." She nods greetedly at me. "Suffer as you wish."
   
    She touches the swirl as she controls this place more than me. And the room spins in colors as it turn to a home. I can smell a nasty scent. Made me want to throw up. I can't see much as I know I don't own this home. The sense cracks into actions. Flickers from bodies. Its all blurry and each sense doesn't match up.
   
    "Come on just show me her face." I whisper.
   
    Hearing steps it make it near me. Making my skin crawl. The figure holds a girl. And the answer is near.  This person uses something and hurts the girl. Her screams echos and gushes in patterns. I step back as I see the blood hit the floor. And again my body tingle and my hand burns. "Stop it! Stop it."
   
    "I can not pause it. I can only take us to another." She says.
   
    Seeing the figure hit the ground, she doesn't more. The scene flicker again and changing to where she seats upright. She talking but to who. Her voice crack and again she scream and my hand burns again. I grip my right hand and feel a small warmth between my fingers. Watching as the blurriness flickers some more, it hit me and eyes water up. "Wait no. Who tried to..does she?" My mind couldn't make it up with words
   
    "Who is it Elizabeth? Say her name."
   
    I shake my head as I keep watching. Again she ask me. I shake to say it, will I see it unfold. She said no. But as I watch it over again that familiar feeling hits again. I knew her. I knew her way too well. My burn tingles and I see it. And my heart drops.
   
    "Tell me how to stop it." I whispered
   
    She flicks her hand and as the image of agony hits her face. I hold the tears that fought to come out. "Mery what happen?"
   
    "Time will tell."
   
    I walk towards Mery's figure. And the ring my father have gifted me on my birthday shine a little. A pink light spark. I watch as Mery cries for help. And I felt it as if it was my own. When I try to sooth her she fades away from me and the surroundings changes to more noises. I close my eyes as the sound of howl and crying pleads drown away.
   
    "Who is responsible for it?" I ask.
   
    "You don't get those type of answer Elizabeth. You are aware that all this is wasteful a right?"
   
     I stare at my hands as the numbness hits me. I turn to walk towards her and she stops me in place. Making me turn back to the shadows emerging around. Showing me every little part of different events. I narrow my eyes as I try to figure little bits of them. Flashes of pictures I can't quit see. Voices are muffle. But as I wait and pay more attention I understood more. I focus on one thing at a time. Going to one picture that blurry's just a bit. Seeing a figure I knew or a figure I didn't. Seeing clues hinted in the background. Trying to put two to two together. It was frustrating as it take me forever to get things all in my head. My stomach falls watch time as it all hits too real.
   
    My stomach falls each time it replays. I don't how many I have seen. Are they different each time? Can I change the outcome? I want to hope I can.  All I want is to protect everyone and this just proves that I can't.
   
    "Is this because of me?" My eye wollow as the sounds connect. Everyone I love was in danger. Even my mates. I knew Malcolm howl once I saw the eyes glow in the shadows. "This. All of this is gonna happen because of me. Its my fault."
   
    I hear giggling from behind me and I close my eyes to ignore it. The sky begins to darken and rain pour over us. I wonder if this was sign from one of the event. All I see and hear was horror being unfold all over. Everything begin to mix and my brain fogs over. My sadness starts to feel like rage.
   
    "Are you enjoying yourself?" She asked with a cocky tone.
   
     I huff loudly and turn around. Scowling at her hard she smiles mischievously at me. 
   
    "Aren't you?" And her grin widen.
   
    I walk around as I relook at it all. One thing hits as I watch one last time. "Can I prevent this? What can I do to make it better." I turn to face her as I make my rounds. "I can do that right?"
   
    She looks me up and down. Looking at the figures flickering. "Is that why you're here? I thought it was curiosity and your stubbornness."
   
    I look back and everything started to disappear. Leaving blackness behind. I sigh as I hope for something. For anything. "Can I?"
   
    "No." She said.
   
    "What can I do? I can't let this happen, you know that!" I shouted.
   
    "I am aware. But as I been telling you to leave this alone. There was nothing here for you. You are simply torching yourself in this madness. This pain you feel is a reminder of back then."
   
    Soon clouds floated above us. And I hear a cry. Little soft webbing in the air. I look up and around. Waiting for a image to appear. But nothing never did. A little whisper calls out. I focus my ears to listen. And it wasn't anyone I knew. It was me. Me younger self. I knew I had to be in my bed crying in a puddle of blood. My cries went from help to needing. Wanting to give in to my one failure. To end it all as thats all I ever wanted back then.
   
    I listen to all the prayers. Her cries and sounds of pain echoing off the cellars walls. I was pass this. I didn't want to hear it. My hand fire up in a ball. And throw it up in the air. The sky lights orange as the ball passes through the clouds and drips of hot sparks sparkles down around us.
   
    "Is there anything you can do beside being a bitch!" I yell.
   
    "Ohh so harsh." She said so sarcastically.
   
    "I'm just gonna return you know." I scoffed at her.
   
    "Yes, yes. I know. Don't you get tried of this though? The answers you got isn't gonna change. All of this is gonna happen rather you like it or not."
   
    "What if I leave!" Her eyes widen.
   
    "You think if you leave your fated mate that you now mark will change all of this. That the easy thing to do. To leave everyone. Luminis, Travis, Malcolm, Mery, Mason, the pack. Everyone will happy and safe if you leave and never return." She slowly glides to me.
   
    I nod my head to her. Hoping theres another way. But if thats what I need to do. Then I'll do it.
   
    "Death and destruction will always follow you." My back froze. "Listen to me one last time. And do not return aspecting changes." Her voice sharpen at me. And my lips twist. "Nothing you can do will change any of this. This is just another cruel aspect that happen to you. To raid you up. You were suppose to let this go and move on. But you are pushing it. Go home and be with your mate. Try being happy. We didn't have that for so fucking long. We fought for it, we accepted not to receive it to never letting it go."
   
    "Theres more to it. Its just the same out there then it is here." I was stress on both ends.
   
    "Tell me this. How does our sweet wolf feel about you putting yourself here over and over again in over stimulated emotions?" She asked. She laugh as my reaction fade.
   
    She walks around me like a prey. Softly chuckling my name in mockery.
   
    "They worry too much. This will just drive him mad."
   
    "Poor Travis. You will do anything to push him away. Fix it Elizabeth." She glare in my face. Inch's from me.
   
    "I'm not pushing him. I'm protecting him."
   
    "Protecting! You are hurting him!" She shouted and a light of thunder spark.
   
    I shook my head. Not needing this. "I'm done. If you're not gonna help us then shut up. I'm done." I walk away as she calls to me.
   
    "Remember death and pain Elizabeth. You are the dark ferry!" She shouted from the distances.
   
    I ignore her words and walk through the icy fog. The more I walk the thicker it becomes. I close my eyes and whisper my exist word. Turning the fog into the black pit that jerks me back up to my spell room where I lay flat on the ground. My eyes slowly open to the dim room. Breathing slowly I got up.
   
    "Thank goddess you're okay. I was debating to call for help." Gamma says in a shaky voice.
   
    As I stand on my two feets. I ask what time it was. It seems I took the whole afternoon. It was only 11 ish when I started. My head span as my body level out. I breath my rouge breath.  Then gamma gasp spook me.
   
    "Luna. Here." Handing me a towel from the island. I thank her. "Was this even safe?"
   
    I wipe the blood that leak down both nostrils. I was still numb from the spell that I hadn't felt it.
   
    "It fine." Throwing the towel in the sink.
   
    I hear gamma following me. "I know it may not be my business. But luna I am aware that this is a sign, telling you not to do this. It is not safe. Alpha won't.."
   
    "He won't say a god damn thing! Because this here." Gesturing to the room and us. "Stays between us. Alpha can not know."
   
    Her face puzzle to my responde. "Respectful I can't keep this from him."
   
    I harden my fist and walk over to her. "Do as you think. But as my gamma. You did you job. You stayed and protected me. The blood is a minor symthom. Thank you for be a friend temporary." I lay a hand on her shoulder. Nodding respectfully to her.
   
    I walk away and see gamma questioning her decision to tell Travis. After some time she walked over to me.
   
    "This I will keep until it goes too far. I just need to know that this isn't killing you?" She asked me.
   
    Wiping down the island. I look up to her. I see that same concerning look that the boys give me. So I told her the truth.
   
    "No. Its safe. It just draining the more I do it. Its not something witches do. It can fuck with your head. You have to be very powerful." I was able to last longer because of my vampire side. But after today. I may need to fix the spell so it won't happen.
   
    She search my face and nods. After drinking 2 cups of blood. I started to feel more like myself again. I inform gamma that the blood helps. "I always need this. I get hung-argy if I don't."
   
    She nods and my phone buzz. Getting a new text. A long with a few others. I sigh as the day has gone by. I sent off a reassuring text.
   
    "I have business at Luminis here. Will you accompany me? Thats if you are not busy. I enjoy it." Which I have. We haven't spend anytime alone. And this was nice. Talking to gamma Sarah was actually nice.
   
    "I would love to." She smiles and we headed out.
   
    On our way through the fields gamma ask questions to be inform. She want to learn everything she can to be sure she the best gamma. And I wasn't a regular luna either. We both had to learn together. So who better to lean on than her. So we talk and talk as the men train. She even offer to spare with me. Which intrigue me. Gamma is one of our best. I needed to train more often.
   
    We stop near the end of the field where the outdoor training are taking place. A lot of young pups prepare themself for one day becoming warriors. A strong smell hits me and I look around to meet eyes of my mate. We stare deep and I blush from his gaze. He mouths sweet words to me and I do the same.
   
    He seem happy to see I was still with gamma after such a long day. I know he must of check in a few time. I'm glad I was able to trust her with my secret. Because this was gonna be a long one. I needed to return.